Stop Playing With Your Nude

Tory Mussett The Matrix Reloaded

Japan’s first naked restaurant is about to open its doors – among other things – but before you make a reservation and drop your reservations, you’ll need to bone up on their stiff requirements.

Japan’s first “naked restaurant“ will open its doors in late July and it’s not the thought of dining in the nude with strangers that’s off-putting. The Amrita has some fairly offensive rules for entry that make it pretty clear they’re only welcoming a certain type of guest.

On their website, the restaurant lists restrictions on entry, including weight, age and even body ink. Adult diners over the age of 60 won’t be welcome per the upper age limit, and neither will people who are more than 15 kg — or approximately 33 pounds — over the average weight for a person of their height. Oh, and no tattoos will be allowed either.

Sorry, Lena Dunham, but you’re fat, droopy ass is just as welcome in Japan as it is in the States.

As for the appeal of the restaurant, we’re not quite sure. Besides the prospect of being turned away for your height and age, the restaurant will require everyone who enters to wear disposable underwear that they will provide.

Sadly, at my age, all my underwear is disposable; as is my pants, since I usually go commando.