She’d Like To Speak To The Manager

A North Carolina woman was arrested after entering CIA Headquarters and demanding to speak to Agent Penis. The agents calmly explained President Clinton was no longer in office, before arresting her… for the second time.

A woman who allegedly tried to get into the CIA’s headquarters and asked to speak with “Agent Penis” last year has been arrested and ordered to be held by a federal judge for violating the terms of her pretrial release.

Remember, you can’t spell “Agent Penis” without insane.

Jennifer G. Hernandez, 58, of North Carolina, was ordered to surrender to U.S. Marshals and appear in U.S. District Court in Alexandria on Wednesday.

Last year, Hernandez was cited after she allegedly attempted to gain access to the agency’s campus three days in a row on May, 1, 2, and 3.

Hernandez was charged by the Secret Service on Dec. 9, 2019, with unlawful entry – though the specifics of her trespass were not revealed. Hernandez reportedly returned to the CIA on Dec. 23 after she was ordered to stay away from CIA headquarters in Langley, Virginia.

In Jennifer’s defense, it’s possible she was searching for Eliot P. Ness of The Untouchables.