Boy Toy

Meet Joshua Millsap of Elyria, Ohio.

Joshua is a cocksure young man; someone who could be called a cockeyed optimist. So when he entered Cirilla’s adult toy store he knew exactly what he wanted. What he didn’t want was a meeting with the cops… or that haircut.

Cops responded Saturday morning to a panic alarm from a Cirilla’s store in Elyria, a city 30 miles west of Cleveland. Cirilla’s is a 60-store chain with outlets across the Midwest.

A store employee identified the shoplifting suspect as a white male male “carrying a large knife on his hip.”

Heh, that’s wasn’t a knife, if you know what I mean.

Upon arriving at the store, officers spotted Joshua Millsap, 28, exiting Cirilla’s and entering the passenger side of a Ford sedan parked outside. When confronted by police, Millsap reportedly admitted stealing merchandise from the store.

After cops recovered some of the sex toys from the vicinity of the car’s passenger seat, a Cirilla’s clerk advised that other items were still missing. Millsap then reportedly copped to cutting “a slit in his jacket” and concealing other sex toys inside the garment.

The good news is Joshua is going to a place where sex toys are not only appropriate, but encouraged!

By the way, I so wanted to make a “slit” joke, but I don’t want to lose any readers.

P.S.I’m scheduled for the pistol range today, so I may not be able to respond to comments much.