Caption Contest Winners

The Hello Pity Caption Contest has now concluded.

Top Five Entries:
5. Are you sure this is the same one Barack used when he rode that bicycle? – MelP
4. Yes! Yes! This will go with the pink and the purple thong! – Cathy
3. Oh, It’s a present from Pres. Trump! It says “pull pin and put on”. That’s so nice! – William
2. Kim is pleased with his newly designed nuclear “football”. – Proof

WINNER! – “Herro kitty?” – Toothy

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North Korea Tests Hydrogen Bomb

Bloated North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un is claiming his country conducted a successful hydrogen bomb test Sunday. The move is sure to be met with swift reprisals, hopefully of the B-1 bomber variety.

North Korea on Sunday claimed a “perfect success” for its most powerful nuclear test so far, a further step in the development of weapons capable of striking anywhere in the United States. President Donald Trump, asked if he would attack the North, said, “We’ll see.”

The latest provocation from the isolated communist country reinforces the danger facing America, Trump had said earlier in a series of tweets, adding that “talk of appeasement” is pointless.

The precise strength of the explosion, described by state-controlled media in North Korea as a hydrogen bomb, has yet to be determined. South Korea’s weather agency said the artificial earthquake caused by the explosion was five times to six times stronger than tremors generated by the North’s previous five such tests. The impact reportedly shook buildings in China and in Russia.

Jong-Un is dangerous, insane, and literally has nothing to lose. It’s high time we end him and his miserable country before he acts upon his nuclear threats.

Kim Possible

Lost in the coverage of the terrible Texas floods was this little tidbit; bloated South Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un fired a missile over Japan today.

North Korea fired a ballistic missile over Japan’s northern Hokkaido island into the sea on Tuesday, prompting a warning from U.S. President Donald Trump that “all options are on the table” as the United States considers its response.

The test, one of the most provocative ever from the reclusive state, came as U.S. and South Korean forces conduct annual military exercises on the peninsula, angering North Korea which sees them as a preparation for invasion. Trump said the world had received North Korea’s latest message “loud and clear”.

“This regime has signalled its contempt for its neighbours, for all members of the United Nations, and for minimum standards of acceptable international behaviour,” Trump said in a statement released by the White House.

This inbred son of a bitch needs to be slapped down before one of his missiles “accidentally” strikes one of our allies… or the U.S. mainland.

Nork And Nuclear Windy

Insane, inbred North Korean strongman Kim Jong-Un is threatening to launch a missile strike against Guam. The preemptive action could light the fuse to another world war.

A spokesman for North Korea’s military said it would carry out a pre-emptive operation if there were signs of US provocation. The warning comes after President Trump warned North Korea it would be met with “fire and fury” if it continued to threaten the US in a marked escalation of rhetoric.

The statement mentioned using the Hwasong-12, the intermediate range missile tested in May. North Korea said at the time the missile can carry a heavy nuclear warhead, and independent analysis seems to fit their statement. (H/TAOSHQ)

This is what happens when president (Clinton) after feckless president (Obama) enables these mutants. The fat bastard is ready to start a nuclear war because 1. he is batshit crazy, and 2. he has literally nothing to lose.

The worst part is if we eliminate this bloated prick, we’ll be dealing with similar threats from Iran soon afterward.

Caption Contest Winners

The Hugs, Not Thugs Caption Contest has now concluded.

Top Five Entries:
5. Kim Jong Un celebrates after his top scientists announce that they have stolen the secrets of the YMCA dance from the Village People… – Sully
4. He’s happy now, but wait until he realizes the launch he just saw on TV was special effects from an old 1950’s sci-fi movie! – Mike AKA Proof
3. Lil Kim is so happy, he not only got it up, it stayed up. – MelP
2. “At least we aren’t CNN!” – J-Dub

WINNER! – “Is that a nuclear-tipped ICBM in your pocket, or are you just glad I’m your Supreme Leader?” – John DuMond

Weekend Caption Contest

Hugs, Not Thugs Caption Contest
(Source: Reuters)

Caption this photo in the comments section. The winners will be posted Monday, July 10th.

Original Caption: North Korean leader Kim Jong Un reacts with scientists and technicians of the DPRK Academy of Defence Science after the test launch of the intercontinental ballistic missile Hwasong-14 in this undated photo released by North Korea’s Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) in Pyongyang July, 5, 2017. (Photo: KCNA/via Reuters)

North Korean Dictator Bans Sarcasm

kim-jong-unNorth Korean despot Kim Jong-Un, the most handsome man in the entire peninsula, has banned the use of sarcasm inside his realm.

North Korea’s leader Kim Jong-un has banned the country’s citizens from using sarcasm in their everyday conversations.

Other world leaders should follow Kim’s shining example, since an intellect this awe-inspiring comes around only once in a lifetime.

Satire directed towards the regime and even indirect criticisms of leadership will not be forgiven.

No worries there, since everyone who is anyone knows North Korea is the bestest country on god’s green Earth. Immaculate living conditions, piles and piles of food, and civil rights out the ying yang!

‘One state security official personally organized a meeting to alert local residents to potential “hostile actions” by internal rebellious elements,’ a source in Jagang province said. ‘The main point of the lecture was “keep your mouths shut”,’ the source said, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Here are a few little-known facts for you history buffs: sarcasm was the reason the Jews escaped bondage in Egypt, the Founders used sarcasm to overthrow the British, and sarcasm helped birth ISIS. It’s high time someone put a stop to these revolutionary factions. Bravo, Kim; you have made us proud.