Oooh, That Smell


Are you, like me, morbidly obese? Do you sweat when you eat? Are you a Leftist protester? If so, your days of stinking up a football stadium may be gone forever.

The KunKun, Japanese for “sniff sniff”, is a bizarre device developed by Japanese corporation Konika Minolta that detects bodily odors like smelly feet or underarm sweat and notifies the user about them via a smartphone app.

Now you can just wear the KunKun everywhere you go and find out when you’re starting to stink just by checking your phone. It’s small enough to fit in a coat pocket, so no one will ever know you’re carrying it, and features sensors that pick up specific chemicals associated with three types of bodily odors.

When the information is sent from the KunKun to the smartphone, users are notified if they have passed or failed a smell test using a color-coded meter.

There is a morbidly obese corporal who works in my division, and she claims her religion only allows her to bathe once a week. Her stench can literally peel the skin off a man, and the operations room has more lighted candles than Liberace’s boudoir.

I would buy her this device, but I sincerely doubt she would respond to the alarms.