Don’t Trust China. China Is Asshoe!

China has been a bad actor since its founding. The country has sent us the Wuhan Virus, Jackie Chan, and now the Lanternfly. Lanternflies are indigenous to Asia – specifically China, Taiwan, and Vietnam – and were sent here in 2012, courtesy of China. The lanternflies destroy trees, vegetable gardens and flowers to name a few, and when they first appeared in PA, we were told to kill them on sight.

We’d see a few here or there, and did our best to stomp their asses. We have two trees in the backyard and two flower gardens, so the lanternflies are Wanted: Dead or, well, Dead. When we came back from the Outer Banks, there were a good dozen or so in the backyard. Some were sitting on the side of the house, some near the trees, and others near the flowerbeds.

The pricks walk around like they own the place.

So, I spent my Friday killing as many as possible – I’m pretty sure I came close to double digits – but they seemed to multiply almost immediately. I don’t want to be that Florida Man who uses a flamethrower to kill a spider, but at this point, I’m not ruling it out.

Seriously China, eat a buffet of dicks.