True Detective Stories

When it’s my time to leave this mortal coil, I would like you to know Diego the Idiot Detective killed me.

Yes, I could be hit by a bus, killed of cancer, or slaughtered in a blimp attack, but trust me, Diego will be the cause of my eventual death.

Two rookie cops brought in a gun arrest yesterday morning, and sadly, the job was assigned to Diego. I don’t like giving serious jobs to him because they entail a white paper, and Diego can barely spell his name, let alone write a full-page detailed report.

The officers brought up the gun to be processed and took it to Diego’s desk. Diego “took care of things,” then sent him on his way.

About an hour later, Diego submitted his white paper – a document which goes to every detective supervisor from lieutenant and above – and moments later, the sergeant called him to the desk.

Apparently Diego forgot to inform us the following:

1. He never did any checks of this guy’s criminal history, including any open warrants. Kind of a big deal if the offender is released and no one sees, say, a homicide warrant.

2. He never swabbed the pistol for DNA, despite the Directive mandating it. Swabbing for DNA is important since it would eventually identify anyone who was in possession of the weapon.

3. He never told us the idiot cops brought in a loaded gun

Continue reading “True Detective Stories”

Florida Man Flies North For The Winter

A Florida man made the annals of infamy this month, and did so in a truly Flori-duh manner.

A Florida man brought a loaded gun to Central New York airports twice this month, said the Transportation Security Administration.

The man was arrested Wednesday morning at Syracuse Hancock International Airport after he was caught with a loaded gun at the checkpoint, said Lisa Farbstein, TSA’s spokesperson. The man claimed he didn’t know he had the gun with him, she said.

The arrest came weeks after the man brought a different loaded gun to the Ithaca Tompkins Regional Airport, Farbstein said.

Now maybe it’s just me, but if I was arrested for possession of a handgun inside an airport, I sure would have learned my lesson the first time. Of course, I am not surrounded with morons every day… just the ones I deal with at work for eight hours.