Getting Ahead Of The Game

So here’s something you don’t see every day – at least not in France, anyway. A man was arrested after police found him carrying a knife in one hand and his father’s head in the other.

A man has been arrested in France after being found with his father’s decapitated head in one hand and the knife that was presumably used to remove it in the other, police near the Lyon suburb of Saint-Priest say.

The horrific incident began when police found the father’s body in a parking lot over the weekend. Locals had reported witnessing a heated debate among the family members and the son chasing his father around with a large knife.

See if you can guess this man’s religion. I’ll wait.

Witnesses say the assailant yelled “Allah Akbar,” or God is Great, which has been traditionally linked to terrorist attacks, but the police have determined that the incident was a family feud, according to ActuLyon news site.

Police then followed a trail of blood to where the son, 25, was standing with undeniable evidence. Police say they struggled with the son to detain him.

So this psychopath decapitated his father and just stood outside holding a knife and his father’s head. Got it. I truly feel badly for those residents in France who wanted nothing to do with these Islamists coming to their shores. Nothing good has come from it. Nothing at all.

Was The Tour De France Not On?

So, a 75-year old nudist was arrested for allegedly shooting a 46-year old man who was not following the rules of a nude beach. Apparently, this dude was the beach’s Karine.

A 75-year-old nudist is in custody after allegedly killing a 46-year-old man on a nudist beach on a lake near Lyon, France over the weekend, according to French press reports. The victim had reportedly fondled his erection while deliberately staring at a female nudist when an argument broke out between the men.

The shooter then took his registered hunting pistol from his beach bag and shot the younger man, police say. “There was an altercation between a man and a woman, and another individual got involved,” the public prosecutor of Bourg-en-Bresse, Christophe Rode, told French television.

Okay, now maybe it’s just me, but if you’re a guy sitting on a nude beach while fabulous babes – French babes – are walking past you, it’s rather difficult to keep yourself, um, composed. I mean, you don’t wake up the Jolly Roger in front of others, but I don’t think this was an incident that needed a killin’.

Onlookers reported that the victim—who was not apparently a regular on the nudist beach—had been a nuisance earlier in the morning when he masturbated into the water in front of sunbathers. Witnesses instead said the shooter was a long-time naturist who often discouraged bad behavior on the beach.

To quote George Costanza, “Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time.”