McDonald’s Ditching Plastic Toys

McDonald’s has decided to phase out most plastic in their Happy Meal toys. McDonald’s has also stated they will continue to inject plastic into their burgers.

McDonald’s plans to “drastically” reduce the plastic in its Happy Meal toys worldwide by 2025.

The burger giant said Tuesday it’s working with toy companies to develop new ideas, such as three-dimensional cardboard superheroes kids can build or board games with plant-based or recycled game pieces. McDonald’s said it’s also exploring using recycled plastic toys to make new restaurant trays.

I’m sorry, but why do the Minions above look like adult actors from the 70’s?

Chicago-based McDonald’s sells more than 1 billion toys each year. The company says the new goal will reduce virgin plastic use by 90% compared to 2018 levels.

They won’t be virgins for long after the pr0n star Minions get to them.

Feel-Good Friday

An Idaho man has decided to spread some Christmas cheer by doling out nearly half a million dollars to some terrific folks who could use a hand. Meet Diana Boldman, one of the lucky recipients.

Grandmother Diana Boldman is 65 years old. Early each morning, she and her husband Cameron wake up to deliver newspapers across their home town of Idaho Falls. The route takes them across a large area of the city, and they do it in a van that already has nearly 240,000 miles on it.

Once she’s finished the paper route, Diana then goes to McDonald’s to put in a shift at her full-time job there. Her hope is to retire in a few years, but for now she has to work: Cameron is on disability and it’s up to Diana to provide for them.

When Idaho’s Secret Santa heard about this couple’s situation, he knew just the Christmas gifts to surprise them with.

The video is below the fold, and it’ll reveal what Diana received. If you’re not crying by the end of this you literally have no soul…

Continue reading “Feel-Good Friday”

Feel-Good Friday

It’s been four weeks since my mom passed away, and I’m thinking about posting a feel-good story every Friday from here on out. Fridays have been tough for me, so maybe this will make things easier.

Meet Wyatt Jones, a McDonald’s employee from Waynesville, Ohio. Wyatt is a credit to the McDonald’s corporation, and a truly special person.

When a stressed-out mom rolled up to a McDonald’s drive-thru to purchase a meal for her children, she realized with dismay on making her order that she’d left her purse at home. But the teenage server at the window didn’t send her away.

Wyatt Jones said he’d happily pay for the meal.

Brittany wrote in a Facebook post, “I just want his parents to know how KIND & COMPASSIONATE your son was tonight! He made this stressed out momma pause for a moment and realize this is exactly what we parents are trying to do, raise great humans,” she explained. “Wyatt, do not let this world change your kind heart young man for its people like YOU that will change this world for the better!”

Now this may appear to be a minor courtesy on Wyatt’s part, but for a woman who has already had a terribly stressful day, Wyatt’s kindness meant the world to her. There are still good people in this world, and they are not celebrated enough.

Wyatt had shown Brittany such kindness. How to thank him even more?

On hearing that he was saving up to buy a car, Brittany began a GoFundMe campaign on his behalf. As of October 1, she’s raised nearly $32,000 for him. How’s that for a gratuity?

Wow, just amazing all around. It’s probably because it’s a Friday, but I think something is in my eye.

(Thank you to Misanthropic Humanitarian for the link at Ace of Spades HQ.)

The Sesame Seeds Hurt The Most

Meet Tyler Hardeman of Holiday, Florida.

Tyler is a handsome young gentleman who enjoys vaping, fast food, and (allegedly) assaulting his significant other with meat products.

Cops allege that Tyler Hardeman “engaged in a verbal argument with the victim” at a residence in Holiday, a Tampa suburb. During the 9:45 PM squabble, the 23-year-old Hardeman first “threw a McDouble (hamburger) at the defendant’s head,” a complaint affidavit reports.

The McDouble hit the victim in the left ear, but did not cause injury.

Oh, please please please tell me the victim’s name was Patty. That would be hilarious!

Dippy Chippy Gets Snippy

There comes a time in every person’s life when they truly get a craving which can not be satisfied. The person wanders around in a stupor, vainly searching for their next fix.

Meet Maguire McLaughlin, McDonald’s Moll.

Maguire McLaughlin, 19, arrived at a McDonald’s in Vero Beach around 3:45 AM on January 1. McLaughlin, seen above, ordered a “large amount of food,” which she paid for at the drive-thru window.

At that point, McLaughlin, who lives about five miles from the restaurant, asked for one dipping sauce in each flavor McDonald’s offers. An employee responded by saying that each packet would cost McLaughlin 25 cents, “at which point a verbal altercation ensued,” cops say.

McLaughlin allegedly “began yelling profanities at several employees stating she would ‘rob’ the establishment if she didn’t get her dipping sauce.” McLaughlin, a McDonald’s worker told police, added that she would procure the dipping sauce “by whatever means necessary.”

The Malcolm X reference is a nice touch. It’ll give Maguire some street cred when she becomes the darling of D Block.

They’re Not Lovin’ It On Christmas

Imagine you’re single, childless, and antisocial – like I was for many many years. What better way to celebrate a lonely Christmas night than sitting for hours in a McDonald’s drive-thru lane?

A McDonald’s which is closed for Christmas.

This is a video of at least nine cars lined up in the drive-thru of a McDonald’s on Christmas night while the store is closed. I feel like this is an experiment in human psychology. I have so many questions. How long has that first car been there?

Do they know the store is closed and are just hoping for a Big Mac Christmas miracle? Why is nobody using the second drive-thru lane? Is this really just a very complicated pass-the-button style drug deal? Are all these people so high they just assume time is barely passing? Why didn’t McDonald’s turn the drive-thru lights off so people knew it was closed? *pounding fist on table* WHY IS THE McFLURRY MACHINE ALWAYS BROKEN? *sobbing* When is the McRib coming back?!

It’s like the old man shoveling salt in Home Alone. You feel bad for him, but the you realize, “Pfft, he made his choice.”

Oh, and dollars to doughnuts this occurred in Philadelphia… or there are Philadelphians in that line.

Portugal Makes Ice Cream “Problematic”

A slew of Portuguese McDonald’s franchises won’t be seeing a pot of gold at the end of their rainbow, after insulting the Irish with a Halloween promotion.

McDonald’s has apologised for a Halloween marketing campaign which promoted a dessert in Portugal with the words: “Sundae Bloody Sundae”.

The term Bloody Sunday is used to refer to one of the worst days of the Troubles in Northern Ireland, when 13 people were shot dead by the Army. The adverts sparked outrage when photos were shared on social media.

“We sincerely apologise for any offence or distress this may have caused,” a spokeswoman for McDonald’s Portugal said. She explained the “Bloody” sundae adverts were designed as a Halloween celebration but the promotion has since been cancelled.

Honestly, this would be a bigger issue if the promotion was running in Ireland, Scotland, Wales, or England. It’s not like most Portuguese would know about Bloody Sunday, and the only way they would know would be by listening to U2.

And seriously, who listens to U2 anymore?

Automated Drive-Thru? I’m Lovin’ It!

McDonald’s has announced the corporation will be hiring a tech firm to create an automated drive-thru for its franchises. The move is a step toward new technology, as well as a big F.U. to those municipalities which embraced a $15/hour minimum wage.

McDonald’s said Tuesday it has agreed to acquire a company that is trying to automate the drive-thru. It’s the fast-food giant’s third tech-focused deal this year.

Apprente, a Silicon Valley company founded in 2017, uses artificial intelligence to understand drive-thru orders, which could cut down on service times. McDonald’s said the technology also could be used someday in its self-order kiosks and mobile app.

The chain has been using technology to stay ahead of the competition.

This is such a terrific idea, especially because it will cause massive butt-hurt in leftist cities across the country. Fifteen dollars an hour as a minimum wage? LOL, get f**ked.

Caption Contest Winners

The Unhappy Meal Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. I’m sorry, what part of Chick-Fil-A did you not understand? – Barry D.
4. I said, “Kiss the boo boo!” – Proof
3. Princess P when one of her brothers took the last nugget. – MelP
2. Hey Ronald!….I got your chicken finger right here! – Kevin

WINNER! – After murdering Grimace and the Mayor McCheese with a plastic fork, young Tammy began dipping her fries in the blood of Ronald McDonald. – Sully