First Lady Melania Trump Hospitalized

First Lady Melania Trump is recovering from kidney surgery at Walter Reed Medical Center. While she is, thankfully, recovering, the despicable people on Twitter are still cancerous.

The office of the first lady said in a statement:

“This morning, First Lady Melania Trump underwent an embolization procedure to treat a benign kidney condition. The procedure was successful and there were no complications. Mrs. Trump is at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center and will likely remain there for the duration of the week. The First Lady looks forward to a full recovery so she can continue her work on behalf of children everywhere.”

The hatred began almost immediately on Twitter. Multiple verified accounts made crass jokes about the Melania and blamed her condition on President Trump.

I refuse to post the disgusting comments here, but they’re vile. Hate on the president if that makes you feel better, but Melania has been a gracious, honorable, and classy First Lady.

Caption Contest Winners

The Gape Knee-High Caption Contest has now concluded.

Top Five Entries:
5. It was unanimous. Everyone wants to be two feet taller. – Ronni
4. It was up to Melania to pick the winner of the George Takei lookalike contest. – Proof
3. Melania goes on international recruiting mission for the infamous Scissor Hands Gang. – Ingineer66
2. Melania realizes Asians really are smart when she asks the school children how many genders there are… – Toothy

WINNER! – “Hey everyone, how many times did Hillary run for President and lose?” – TXNick

The Mika Shall Inherit The Hurt

MSNBC fake news purveyor Mika Brzezinski incurred the wrath of Melania Trump this week after claiming the First Lady is looking for a divorce.

Melania Trump issued a furious condemnation of Mika Brzezinski on Friday afternoon after the Morning Joe co-host suggested she wanted out of her marriage to the president. Brzezinski had put some oomph behind unsubstantiated rumors that Melania wants out of her marriage during an interview with InStyle.

“I know Melania. I haven’t talked to her in months, but if my gut is right, I don’t think she’s going to put up with it much longer,” Brzezinski said. “That’s just my instinct and I go with my gut and my gut’s always right. Melania’s got the worst job in the country and I don’t think she wants do it a lot longer. I think she will do it for as long as she has to for her son, and that’s it.”

Later in the day the first lady’s office hit back – hard – issuing a statement for Mrs. Trump. “It is sad when people try to further their own agenda by commenting on me and my family, especially when they don’t know me,” she said.

One of the best things about the Trump presidency is both the president and the first lady have no problem fighting back against their detractors. Similarly, I’d appreciate it if the GOP Establishment’s media whores – looking at you, Ben Sasse – would stop criticizing the Trumps and start criticizing the real enemies; the biased media.

Class Is Making A Comeback

In the aftermath of the elitist demeanor of the Obama administration, First Lady Melania Trump is quietly making the White House accessible again.

For the first time in the history of White House tours, visitors will now be able to view the famous White House movie theater, thanks to a new directive by first lady Melania Trump.

The move to open up more of the White House to ordinary citizens stood in stark contrast to former President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle, who regularly hosted celebrities and star-studded events but suspended citizen tours of the mansion for eight months in 2013.

“The White House belongs to the people of this country,” Melania Trump said in her announcement. “I believe everyone who takes the time to visit and tour the White House should have as much access to its rich history and wonderful traditions as possible. It is my hope that our visitors truly enjoy the newest piece of the tour.”

Wait a minute, I thought the White House was reserved for Hollywood celebrities and rich mega-donors? I know that’s the way the founders envisioned it.

Sunday Services

Melania Trump Bikini

Meet the woman who may be the next First Lady of the United States: Melania Trump. It is truly difficult to believe she, Michelle Obama, and Hillary Clinton are the same species.

Despite the modeling career, Melania is no dummy.

Melania Knauss was born in Sevnica, in Slovenia’s Lower Sava Valley (then part of Yugoslavia) on April 26, 1970. Knauss grew up in a modest apartment in a concrete housing block. She began her modeling career at age 16, and at age 18 signed with a modeling agency in Milan, Italy. She is fluent in Slovenian, English, French, Serbian, and German.

The wet look really works for her, and apparently the wetness is contagious. Oh, sorry.

Melania Trump Beach

Melania also possesses other attributes prized by the superficial man.