Kyle and Erik were off Monday, because apparently I am paying nearly $10,000 a year for them NOT to go to school. Instead, the day off was spent at the doctor’s office, as they both needed their annual physicals completed for school and lacrosse.
The office was crowded as always, and while we were sitting there we saw 1. an elderly woman being blown across the parking lot (Philly was dealing with 50+ mph winds Monday), 2. a man with a Red Sox cap (we despise the Red Sox), and 3. a high school girl who came to the office in ragged sweatpants and slippers. Slippers!
We eventually entered the exam room and the doc came to me first. “I heard you had a concussion. How are you, You having headaches?” I assured him I was fine, and he started the boys’ physicals. Erik was clocked in at 5’5 1/2″ and 128 pounds. Kyle was 5’11” and 124.6 pounds. The doc told Kyle he needed to hit the gym before college lacrosse, and turned to me and said, “You actually look slimmed down.” The kids replied, “Well, Dad is less-fat.”
Erik escaped without any shots, but Kyle needed two. The second dose of the meningitis vaccine and one for HPV. When the doc explained the HPV vaccine would protect him from sexually transmitted diseases, Erik and I replied, “Well, he’d need a girlfriend first.”
Kyle took the shots like a champ, but the point of this post was what happened when we arrived home. Kyle walked into the house, approached his mother, and yelled…
“I CAN HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX!!!”