Bring On The Water Works

The city of Miami, Florida is suspending construction of an underground garage after – get this – water keeps rising to the surface.

Miami building officials decided to pause construction of the city’s “deepest” subterranean parking garage to conduct a holistic engineering evaluation after a series of groundwater breaches and complaints from concerned Brickell residents.

Building an underground parking facility in a city which routinely suffers from hurricanes. Smart.

On Tuesday, an aerial view over the evacuation site showed the pooling of water in a different section of the cavernous pit where water bubbled to the surface on Friday in a second breach.

A spokesperson for Miami-Dade County’s Department of Regulatory & Economic Resources said Tuesday that the water “will keep coming into the site” until they fix “what’s known as the tremie seal.” They said that is an operational issue rather than an environmental violation.

I’m pretty certain the best “fix” for this is relocating Miami to the Midwest.

Miami Nice

On Super Bowl Sunday, celebrities and rappers – they’re not celebrities in my book – descended on to the One Gentleman’s Club in Miami. It may or may not surprise you to learn the party got a little out of hand.

Miami strippers were the real winners of Super Bowl LIV. Pole dancers were seen wading through ankle-deep piles of cash during one of a slew of game-day bashes of debauchery — some of which drew celebrities toting boxes full of bills, videos show.

The floor of one unnamed jiggle joint appears blanketed by dollar bills as nearly nude exotic dancers saunter alongside stages in G-strings and heels, according to a video on Instagram.

Music star Post Malone — who was filmed reaching into a cardboard box while grinning and giving away giant stacks of cash — was among the patrons who made it rain extra hard during another one of the in-club parties.

Apparently, the patrons were stuffing bills into their clothing as fast as they could grab it. And see guys, your parents always told you to stay away from those places. If you were there, you’d be retired by now!