Ah Michigan, Don’t Ever Change

After concerns that an oil spill occurred in Michigan’s Mackinac Straits, citizens were calling the Bridge Authority to report the “spill.” Luckily for these brilliant Michigan geniuses, there was no spill, it was a giant flock of ducks.

On December 21 of last year, the Mackinac Bridge Authority started receiving calls from concerned divers regarding a possible oil spill in the area. With each passing day, the number of calls regarding the oil spill kept growing, which makes sense, considering that the black mass that had formed on the water appeared to be growing. However, it wasn’t oil, but a record-setting gathering of Redhead ducks. In the beginning, authorities counted around 7,000 of them gathered together under and around Mackinac Bridge. Their number has grown since then, and there are now several tens of thousands of birds making up the “oil spill”.

This last part is peak Michigan…

According to Fox 2 Detroit, authorities kept telling concerned callers not to worry about the oil slicks they were trying to report, explaining to them that it was just an unusually-large gathering of birds, but many of them didn’t seem convinced. To be fair, the black mass does look very different from afar.

Besides, if it was an actual oil spill, I’d assume someone would want to toss Whitmer to the birds.

Feel-Good Friday

This isn’t your normal, everyday episode of Feel-Good Friday, but it certainly is a feel-good story.

A high school in Michigan allows, nay encourages, their senior students to dress in costumes for their ID pictures. Most of the students take part and some of the ID photos are straight=up hilarious.

One high school in Farmington Hills, Michigan, has a unique annual tradition for its senior graduating class which demonstrates that folks around here—even the administrators—have a great sense of humor.

When students reach their senior year at North Farmington High School, they are allowed, and encouraged, to dress up in costumes for their school ID pictures.

The class of 2022 tweeted photos of their new IDs, alongside which character was their creative inspiration—usually scenes from popular movies.

It would be great if this tradition caught on across the nation, but I sincerely doubt that would go over with some of the public school scolds. You can see some of the IDs at the link, but I thought this girl was the winner. She looks just like the actress.

Ohio Has A Lovely Glow This Year

If you live in Ohio, and wondering where your shipment of radioactive materiel has gone, have we got news for you!

Apparently, the Ohio shippers, um, lost track of the material, and just sat around hoping it would turn up.

Radioactive material reported missing in Ohio that had been en route to a facility in Michigan has been safely recovered.

The Ohio Bureau of Radiation Protection said the carrier found the material July 23, and it relayed the information to the Nuclear Regulatory Commission immediately. The source material was properly packaged and protected, and was in the possession of the carrier at all times, according to a statement from Alicia Shoults, a spokeswoman for the Ohio Department of Health.

Sure, they know that NOW, but they had no idea where it was for a few days.

The Ohio Department of Health had been notified by Prime NDT Services of Ohio that a source of Iridium-192 was shipped through an unidentified carrier on July 12 from its facility in Strasburg, Ohio, intended for a facility in Michigan, the NRC said. It had not yet arrived at its destination on July 20 and was believed to be in Tennessee.

Because any decent transporter would leave Ohio, travel south through Tennessee then back north to Michigan. Next time we go to the Outer Banks, we’ll head north to Boston, west to Ohio, then southeast to North Carolina. Imagine the time we’ll save!

True Detective Stories

While you’ve all read stories featuring Diego The Idiot Detective, the truly demoralizing part of my job is there are a multitude of Diegos in this department.

Yesterday I received a call from the Washtenaw County Sheriff’s Department in Michigan. (No, I never heard of it, either, but it’s apparently near Ann Arbor.) Anyway, a sheriff’s deputy was out on a car stop with what appeared to be a stolen car taken from Philadelphia.

The deputy gave me the information, and I checked the original stolen auto report. The vehicle was a rental car from Enterprise. The renter parked it on the street on October 11th, and he forgot where he parked it on October 12th. Considering the district where it happened, I am sure the renter was drunk at the time.

As I was scrolling through the paperwork, I noticed something both hilarious and infuriating. Apparently, the renter eventually found the vehicle later on October 12th, and reported it to the police district. A conscientious moron police officer took the information and made an auto recovery report.

Unfortunately for the WCSD officer and the renter, the jackass police officer never sent the report to NCIC, which means it was never taken out of stolen status.

Meanwhile, the renter was stopped on the side of the highway, detained by police, for driving a vehicle which was no longer in stolen status. I explained the situation to the sheriff’s deputy, and after laughing at my department’s incompetence, assured me he would let the renter continue on his way.

I called the district in question – arguably the dumbest police station in the city – and told them to submit the report immediately, before this poor sap gets pulled over again.

You know, this department has more than its fair share of self-owns, but this one was completely avoidable, and still the cops couldn’t get it right. Simply infuriating.

(Thanks to Mis.Hum. at AOSHQ for the ONT link!)

Halloween Candy Inbound

Michigan woodworker Matt Thompson found a unique way to give out Halloween candy while simultaneously obeying the awful Gretchen Whitmer’s fascistic Whuan Virus rules.

Seriously, this is an amazing idea.

Michigan woodworker Matt Thompson of Thompson Woodworks who builds wonderfully useful unexpected items, used a zip line and pulley contraption to create a safe, socially distant way to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters on Halloween.

“I used a cable and some pulleys to create a zipline. I used a fishing reel to retrieve the beer caddy.”

Thompson asked his friends and neighbors to help him test the contraption. They were well rewarded for their efforts.

“Yes, I asked my family and neighbors to dress up their kids for my silly video. They did get candy out of the deal. I included some treats for the parents as well.”

The candy is attached to the ghost, and the beer caddy for the parents is in the back. This guy is going to be the most popular person in the state.

A video demonstration is below the fold…

Maps To The Czars

In an extremely rare ruling, the United State Supreme Court issued a fair and constitutional ruling this week, claiming Michigan and Ohio gerrymandering would be, at least temporarily, blocked.

The Supreme Court temporarily blocked two decisions Friday requiring Republican-controlled legislatures in Michigan and Ohio to produce new legislative district lines ahead of the 2020 election.

There were no noted dissents from the Friday orders. The decision was not surprising, as the justices are currently deciding whether federal courts should even hear partisan gerrymandering disputes.

Both decisions set fast-moving schedules for the legislatures — the Michigan ruling gave the state until Aug. 1 to draw new lines, while the Ohio decision required a remedial plan by June 14. Friday’s order from the high court means that neither state will have to create new district maps in the short-term.

The main problem with the Democratic Party is they cannot win elections on their ideology or their policies, so they spend their time redrawing district lines for their benefit, enabling illegal immigration, and eliminating the Electoral College.