The Slappiest Place On Earth

Two sisters were arrested after they started a drunken brawl inside Walt Disney World. See if you can guess the state before you read it, and no, it’s not Flori-Duh.

The arrest report reads like the plot of a “Jersey Shore” episode: Two sisters from New Jersey get into a drunken, naked fight. Only it didn’t happen in the Garden State. It took place at Disney Springs.

The two women, ages 29 and 31, were vacationing with their family in Orlando. That night, the sisters ate at a steakhouse and seemed to be having an enjoyable evening at first. They got drinks at an Irish restaurant.

I wonder if someone slipped the sisters a “Mickey?”

Then the problems began, small at first when they tried to go back to their hotel off Disney property. Their phone died. Disney Security helped them call an Uber. The Uber driver refused to take them, as he worried they were too drunk. The women argued while waiting for a taxi, and their night unraveled. The older sister called the younger sister a bad mom and slapped her. The younger sister threatened to punch her in return.

“Once separated, both sisters ran at each other, slipped in [the younger sister’s] vomit, then fell into the bushes while still fighting. [The security manager] stated [the younger sister] ran a few feet away and took off her dress, exposing her breasts.

While that sounds fabulous, 1. every crime where breasts are exposed are breasts no one wants to see, and 2. they’re from New Jersey, so… hard no.

Thanks to the Daley Gator for the linkage!