Devil In A Blue Crest

So Friday was our annual trip to North Jersey to see the New Jersey Devils play. The Devils have not been good this year, despite a roster full of talent. Add to that the fact they were slated to play the ridiculously good Toronto Maple Leafs – why isn’t it “Leaves?” – didn’t bode well for the Devils’ chances.

Surprisingly, the Devils played out of their minds. They took an early lead, killed penalties with ease, and fought back to tie the game in the third period. I was starting to think we would actually win this one… until one of the Devils’ defensemen – Damon Severson, who is usually amazing – accidentally shot the puck into our own goal.

An overtime loss gives the losing team one point, which is good they at least got that, but this was a game they should have won. It’s depressing.

Oh, and the stadium was filled with obnoxious Leafs fans; most of which I’d wager couldn’t name more than three people on their team. Toronto has been good for a few years, but were awful for a while, too. This many Toronto fans in NY/NJ? Seems fishy to me; like bandwagon jumpers.

We’ll never be hung with that label, since the Devils haven’t been really good for a decade. It’s not easy being a Devils fan, but at least we’re not Flyers fans.

P.S. Honestly, it’s impossible to get a decent picture of me.

She’s Not A Fan

Mrs. Earp was substitute teaching at Princess P’s school Tuesday, and as she was walking down the hall, she saw a row of Eagles papers colored by the students. After looking for a moment, she found Julia’s, which can be seen at the left.

(It’s also at the bottom of this post, and if you click it, the photo will enlarge.)

Any hoo, Julia is not just a princess because she’s so darn cute, but also because she supports her father in his Eagles hatred. Instead of joining the mob and writing pro-Eagles slogans, Princess P wrote the following:

“Nah, I like the Beagles and the Puppy Bowl… And hockey… but whatever.”

She finished her ensemble by drawing the New Jersey Devils logo on her shirt. I’ve never been more proud of her!

Continue reading “She’s Not A Fan”

Gotta Support The Team

In the world of sports, ice hockey players are generally the most down-to-earth, good people you’ll find. Hollywood, generally, is the polar opposite, but there are some great people out there. People like Seinfeld’s Patrick Warburton.

Patrick Warburton, the actor who played Elaine Benes’ sometimes boyfriend in two seasons of the sitcom, has reprised that role a handful of times and will once again don the face paint that scared the priest and embarrassed Elaine on Tuesday night when the Devils host the Pittsburgh Penguins on ’90s night and give out bobbleheads bearing his likeness.

However, this time around it’s for a cause other than just, you know, supporting the team. Warburton asked the Devils to support a team – I mean a cause – close to him, St. Jude’s Research Hospital. Warburton refused an appearance fee, instead asking the Devils to donate to St. Jude’s instead. They happily obliged, donating $25,000.

No one could have ever guessed that one bit part from the 1990s could have turned into this, but he’s happy to use the opportunity to benefit St. Jude’s. His artist wife, Cathy Jennings, even created a custom jacket for the occasion that will be signed by Hall of Fame goaltender Martin Brodeur and auctioned off with the proceeds being donated to the network of children’s cancer research hospitals as well.

Last night was David Puddy Bobblehead Night, and I’ll definitely be searching for one of those on eBay. Unfortunately, the Devils lost last night – screw you, Penguins! – but at least St. Jude’s received a nice donation thanks to a very nice actor.

A Devil Of A Time

As I mentioned yesterday, the Earp clan (plus Kyle’s friend Nate) traveled to Newark, NJ to take in the New Jersey Devils/Buffalo Sabres game. Nate is a Sabres fan for some reason, and since he scored free Phillies tickets for Kyle over the summer, we wanted to pay him back.

The drive wasn’t nearly as bad as previous trips to the Prudential Center, where four of the previous five drives were during snowstorms. The only issue for me was the cellulitis, which broke out last night at work. I slept for 14 hours, my fever broke three times, and everything still hurts.

The seats were great. Second level, third row, and while the Devils are having a godawful season, Buffalo is a beatable team.

With that out of the way, let me tell you about the people surrounding us. There was a man sitting in front of me with a hairstyle the guy in The 40-Year Old Virgin would describe as a Jewfro. He looked like that annoying kid from Stranger Things, with his giant unkempt hair. Dude, if I wanted to spend $40 dollars to NOT see professional hockey, I’d buy Ottawa Senators tickets!

Unfortunately, the Jewfro guy was not my biggest obstacle. There was an old guy sitting behind me with an unruly goatee and a piss-poor attitude. The man was wearing a Devils jersey, and he placed duct tape where the last name goes, and wrote, “We Stink.” While he’s not wrong, he was just so obnoxious about it, and everything else under the sun.

Grumpy Grampa spent the entire game spouting his inane opinions, which ranged from “This guy sucks,” to “Devils suck,” to “That guy sucks.” And he wasn’t subtle about it; the entire section heard him, and you could see people were becoming annoyed. Dude, if you hate the Devils so much, why waste your money. Stay home and yell at the television, you bloated douche canoe!

Kevin asked me what the guy’s problem is, and I told him being a fan of a sports team means you’re with the team when they’re playing well, but more importantly, when they’re playing poorly. My example was my Baltimore Orioles fandom. It’s not easy, but when they win, it’s exhilarating.

The Devils played a very good game, and Cory Schneider – the goalie Grumpy Grampa trashed for an hour – came away with a 4-1 win. I giggled inside thinking about the agita he received when the game was over.

Snow Devils

You may have noticed I have been scarce around these parts lately. While that is assuredly a good thing, I am back to regular posting and commenting after an absurdly busy weekend.

On Friday, we took the kids to the New Jersey Devils game in Newark, NJ. I wanted to leave early because rush hour traffic near NYC is uglier than Rebel Wilson.

I got home from work, got changed and out we went… into the snowstorm. Eastern PA and NJ were hit with a snowstorm which lasted until 10pm. Thee totals weren’t huge, but for some reason, people who live in snow corridors never know how to drive in it. The 90-minute trek took us three hours, mostly because humanity needs to die a violent, pus-filled death.

The good news is the arena wasn’t packed, so lines for concessions and potties were short. Thee Devils played a below-average first two periods, prompting Kyle and Erik to tell Mrs. Earp, Kevin and Julia that they’re a jinx. The third period was all Devils, all the time; they scored three goals in a 5-2 win.

Saturday and Sunday’s events are below the fold…

Continue reading “Snow Devils”


Devils Ducks 2015For the past few years, I’ve been taking the kids to a New Jersey Devils game. The Flyers are our home team, but the ticket prices for their games are ridiculous. So, we make the 75-mile trek to Newark to see the Devils. Last night was Kevin and Julia’s first-ever hockey game, and no, unlike David Puddy, we did not paint our faces.

Kevin had a minor problem at the outset. Our seats were in the second row of the second level, but the stairway is very steep. The boy had a panic attack, and convinced himself he would fall over the railing. This continued until the second period, when the Nathan’s hot dog and ice cream finally kicked in.

Kevin Devils Game 2015

The Devils were playing the Anaheim Ducks – Kyle picked the opponent this year – but five of us were cheering for the Devils. Kevin, Mr. Contrarian, was rooting for the Ducks. The Ducks are having a terrible season, so we expected a Devils win.


Continue reading “Bedeviled”


On Monday I was sitting in the doctor’s office, awaiting my weekly shock therapy appointment. (What? Dealing with you people is very stressful.) So I’m sitting in a chair surfing teh innerwebz on my phone when this chubby guy and his cute, but equally chubby wife sat across from me. Now, the row in this office is approximately two feet wide, so I have to move my legs as to not kick these people.

I should have given the guy a preemptive boot.

This fat bastard looked me up and down then whispered to his cute, but chubby wife, “I can’t sit across from this f**king guy.” Except he “whispered” it loud enough for Moscow to hear.

Why can’t this pissflap sit across from me? What war crime did I commit? I was wearing a New Jersey Devils half-zip fleece which resembles the one below.

Devils Hallf-Zip Fleece

Now, I am not one to apologize for not root, root, rooting for the home team. My favorite teams are the Denver Broncos, Michigan Wolverines, and any hockey team Jaromir Jagr played on. Plus, it’s fun to poke the ignorant locals in the eye once in a while. Besides, this penis pulsator could have moved to any of a number of empty seats. My jacket offends you? Get a tow truck to lift your fat ass off the ground.

So he said this and I looked up from my phone at him. Fatty McButterpants stared back, and before he can open his pie hole, I looked back at my phone. Yes, I wanted to chop him in the gullet with my phone, but self-control got the better of me. Then, he said it again, and whispered something – quietly, this time – into his wife’s ear. She began to giggle.

I wanted to smash this assclown in the nose with a rolled-up issue of Glamour, but again, self-control. He must have seen my face turn red and the trickle of blood running down my lip from my biting it, because those were the last words he uttered. The doctor called me back. I stood up, glared at these two sacks of Shiite, and whispered in my most angry detective voice, “Go Devils,” before walking away.

I hope I see him at my next appointment. I plan on wearing a Dallas Cowboys jersey.