Couldn’t Happen To A Nicer City

Eric Adams, the feckless mayor of New York City, has been whining for days about the illegal immigrants being sent to his town. Apparently, being a “sanctuary city” isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

After surveying the US-Mexico border this weekend, New York City Democratic Mayor Eric Adams called on the Biden administration to do more to address the massive influx of illegal immigrants that is causing a border crisis and overwhelming New York, and other major cities. He called the situation at the border a “national crisis,” and said New York has “no room” for more migrants.

“On the ground in El Paso last night,” Adams tweeted from the border. “This is a national crisis and we need a national solution. Mayors like @OscarLeeser and I are on the front lines and we need federal support.”

By all means, dump a ton of money on New York City, so they can use it for everything except illegals.

Adams said Friday that New York City, which has proclaimed itself a “sanctuary city” is at its “breaking point” as record numbers of illegal migrants continue to arrive in the Big Apple. Over 3,100 migrants seeking asylum showed up last week, with more than 800 arriving on Thursday alone. Adams has said “there’s no room at the inn.” (H/T – MelP)

See, the problem with proclaiming a sanctuary city – and proudly promoting it – is that eventually illegals are going to realize, hey we can go to New York City and get all the benefits of actual Americans. Hell, they will likely get better benefits than legal Americans. How this jackass mayor doesn’t realize that is beyond me.

Either way, it’s a good time to break out the popcorn.

New Yorkers Are Pussies

Growing up a hundred miles from New York City, I always thought it was a cool, tough town. I’ve been to the Statue of Liberty, Madison Square Garden, The Empire State Building and countless other landmarks. Years later, I realized the entire city turned into soi-bois.

Pull your pants back up and fasten your belt. This year, the annual “No Pants Subway Ride” event has been canceled.

Depending on where you stand on the decidedly odd event, this could either be awesome or terrible news. Just like last year, the event organizers from Improv Everywhere decided to call the initiative off, leaving no opportunity for wild New Yorkers to board trains without pants on.

New Yorkers won’t participate in the No Pants Subway Ride because The Man told them so? Lame.

These are the people who would punch you in the face if you looked at them askew. Now they’re the equivalent of Pete Buttigieg. Be better, NYC. Be better.

Thanks to The Pirate’s Cove for the linkage!

Karma: It’s What’s For Dinner

Well, this story is unintentionally hilarious. A Brooklyn thug was riding his bicycle down the street in an attempt to shoot a rival gang member. As the man was headed toward the location, he was shot in the head by a drive-by shooter.

At least three people were shot across the city overnight – including a latex-glove-wearing bicyclist fatally gunned down while pedaling to pull off a suspected hit himself, cops and police sources said.

The slain 26-year-old man was riding a bike at Crown Street and Rogers Avenue in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, around 2 a.m. Tuesday when he was blasted in the head by a drive-by shooter in a dark-colored sedan, cops said.

Aww, that’s a shame.

The victim – who had been arrested a dozen times in the city – was wearing black rubber gloves when he was shot, and investigators believe he had planned to carry out a shooting with two other guys, police sources said.

He was rushed to the Kings County Hospital Center, where he was pronounced dead.

I sincerely hope the good people of Brooklyn take to the streets to celebrate this George Floyd-esque hero, and laud him for all his wonderful works in this world.

Caption Contest Winners

The Someone Pooped My Pants Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. *Failure in Speech Subroutine*
*Enter Safe Mode*
*Reboot Biden V.32.51A*
*Enter Teleprompter Mode at Line 45* – RD
4. Who took my accordion? – RudyTBone
3. I tell you my word as a Biden, Michelle’s was this long. – Gary Moore
2. The worst part about this one?
Every one I’ve read above could actually be what he said.
The leader of the free world!
Recipient of 87,000,000 votes (actual results may vary). – Veeshir

WINNER! – And poof, just like that, Jeff Dunham walked off stage & left Walter all alone. – MelP

NYC Mayor Chides Cops For Congregating

New York City mayor Eric Adams was riding his bike through NYC when he stopped his ride to lash out at a group of police officers who were “congregating” together on the street. Adams, a former NYPD police officer – and a racist – lost his mind after seeing a few officers standing together.

On Tuesday, the New York Police Department released a memo urging cops not to stand together on city streets unless a situation that requires multiple officers is unfolding.

The move is in line with comments made by NYC mayor Eric Adams at an event in Manhattan earlier this month.

Hey dumbass, maybe the officers were “congregating” because they have been targets of thugs for the last few years; assaulted, shot, and killed. Maybe they want strength in numbers, because your fat ass does nothing to ensure your officers’ safety?

On August 6, while out and about on a Summer Streets bike ride, Mayor Adams expressed his frustration with cops standing too close to one another. “How about scattering out, so we ensure safety and deploy personnel?” he said.

Adams added that he was “going to find out who’s in charge” of that particular squad, so he could ask if what they did “came from the top.”

Oh, about Mayor Adams’ racism? It’s 100% true…

Mayor Eric Adams apologized Friday after an old clip resurfaced where the mayor was recorded saying he was a superior cop compared to his “cracker” colleagues during his time in the New York City Police Department.

“Every day in the police department, I kicked those crackers’ ass.”

Wow, what an inspiring leader. I’ll bet Adams has earned the love and affection of his officers.

New York Is A Garbage City

A naked black man was walking through a New York City subway stop, and hardly anyone gave the man a second look. The man was only wearing black socks and a Covid mask.

New Yorkers barely flinched Thursday as a naked man wearing nothing but dress socks strolled through a Manhattan subway station and onto the street, according to new photos.

Jaded straphangers seemed unsurprised at seeing the apparently disturbed man, as he sauntered out of a No. 6 train car and onto the City Hall subway station platform at about 9 a.m.

Some didn’t even look up from their phones while others glanced at the NSFW scene and gave little reaction — either oblivious to what was happening or taking the old-fashioned New York approach by minding their own business.

New York was great when Giuliani was in power, but his successors have turned the city into a drug-infested war zone with a Soros DA who refuses to prosecute criminals. No wonder New Yorkers didn’t even blink their eye at this naked dude.

The Toronto Sun Is An Idiotic Rag

Meet Michael Morgan of New York City. Michael is very familiar with the streets of NYC, and when his mother called him to say a McDonald’s employee gave her “cold fries,” Michael rushed over and shot the employee three times.

Michael Morgan, 20, is charged with shooting a McDonald’s worker after his mom complained that her fries were cold.

The worker — Matthew Jeremiah Webb — is clinging to life in hospital after being shot several times on Monday.

Now, in addition to attempted murder and criminal possession of a weapon charge in the McDonald’s incident, Morgan has been charged with murder over an Oct. 21, 2020, killing, cops said.

Yeah, this piece of trash already had a murder under his belt. Fear not, because the Toronto Sun has a hot take on how this shooting could have been resolved…

Morgan’s 18-year-old girlfriend, Camellia Dunlap, was charged with two counts of criminal possession of a weapon after she allegedly admitted to cops she handed her beau the gun, law-enforcement sources told the New York Post.

But to Dunlap’s grandmother, hot fries would have resolved the entire matter.

Yep, there it is; the wisdom of the Toronto Sun’s Brad Hunter. Just give the thug’s mother hot fries, and the thug will put his pistol away, say thank you very much, and walk out of the restaurant.

Wow Brad, you cracked the case! That’ll fix everything.

Thanks to The Pirate’s Cove for the linkage.

New York Is Not A Serious City

Just two days after black nationalist Frank James shot twenty-nine people on a New York City subway, useless, feckless Mayor Eric Adams decided to take action. Stupid action, but he did take action.

Students at schools had to shelter in place, New Yorkers were advised to avoid the area and power on some rail lines was temporarily shut down after a person opened fire and shot 10 people inside of a subway car in Brooklyn on Tuesday.

The event has revived conversations about public safety in New York. City departments have previously issued guidance on how to improve safety throughout the city’s transit system.

So Mayor Adams is going to issue tips for not getting murdered on the subway. wow, what a great idea!

NYPD’s tips on subway safety

Wait behind the yellow line on the platform, away from the edge.
Keep a close eye on your personal belongings, especially electronics.
Keep purses in front of you, even if using a shoulder strap.
Keep your wallet tucked away, in a place besides your back pocket.
Avoid falling asleep on the subway.

Now I don’t want to the the sarcastic a-hole here, but I learned all those “tips” by watching a few episodes of Seinfeld. And while these idiotic “tips” are simple common sense, I would suggest you not play Risk on the subway, nor should you insult Ukraine.

Anarchy In The NYC

Eric Adams, the mayoral successor to the godawful Bill de Blasio, believes he can allow non-citizens to vote in local NYC elections. It’s heartening to see the politicians will continue their destruction of the Big Apple. Good freakin’ riddance.

New York City may soon permit hundreds of thousands of noncitizens to vote in municipal elections, while Mayor Bill de Blasio and his successor, Eric Adams, feel differently about the prospect.

The bill aims to amend the city’s charter by including a new chapter with provisions for allowing green card holders and those with work authorization to register to vote and take part in citywide elections through the creation of a separate municipal voter registration. Adams supported the concept when he was campaigning for mayor earlier this year.

This jackass was allegedly a New York City police officer, and yet he knows nothing about the law.

De Blasio, meanwhile, said on “The Brian Lehrer Show” in September that there are “two problems” with the bill.

“One, I don’t believe it is legal. Our law department is very clear on this,” the mayor said. “I really believe this has to be decided at the state level, according to state law.”

Holy shite, when communist/anarchist Bill de Blasio has to tell you something is illegal…