Just. Stop. It.

Bill de Blasio, the communist, anti-police mayor of New York City, has decided to prop up his plummeting approval ratings by throwing a tickertape parade for essential workers.

Police officers need not apply.

A big celebration is coming to mark New York City’s reopening.

Mayor Bill de Blasio announced Monday a ticker tape parade to honor the city’s frontline workers who helped get New Yorkers through the worst of the coronavirus pandemic.

From someone deemed as “essential,” this is a ridiculous idea and a waste of time and money. We’ve done this already, with lame flyovers over cities, and equally vapid gestures meant to make some millionaire doctors feel better about themselves. And I’m not anti-medical personnel – my sister is a nurse – but the fawning is embarrassing.

De Blasio effectively wants to salute medical personnel who did their jobs. What about the truckers who kept the stores open, or the farmers who kept food on our tables?

Last year, New Yorkers applauded from their windows to celebrate essential workers. This year, on July 7, they can celebrate in person.

“The first, true, large parade in New York City will be one to celebrate the heroes of the fight against COVID,” Mayor de Blasio said. “Our first responders, our essential workers, the people who kept us alive, the people who kept the city going no matter what.”

The irony is de Blasio’s city is so rife with crime, most of these “heroes” would be safer in their own homes; especially if they’re Jewish or Asian.

Andrew Cuomo Is A Brilliant Man

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo wants to distract people from his murders and sexual harassment by announcing a New York City skyscraper the size of the Empire State Building. Yeah, that’ll get people excited to return to NYC. Dolt.

Eyebrows have been raised over a proposal for a huge skyscraper in New York City, called Penn 15 and comparable in size to the Empire State Building.

Andrew Cuomo, New York’s governor, hopes to erect Penn 15 as part of a plan to redevelop midtown Manhattan and improve the city’s transport.

So the despicable murderer/sexual harasser wants to erect a building called, effectively, “Penis?

The 1,200ft building would include 27 landscaped terraces, according to the developer, Vornado Realty Trust, and 57 floors of office space.

Vornado describe Penn 15 as a “super-tall tower that will become the new standard for office design”, featuring “a unique side core design to allow for flexible office configurations and terraces on every fourth floor to maximize access to light and air”.

So let’s recap. The city has defunded the police, attacks on Jews and Asians are through the roof, and crime has never been more rampant. But instead of addressing these life and death questions, the state and the city are planning to build a skyscraper?

New York City Is Effectively Dead

The despicable garbage city of New York has decided to eliminate qualified immunity for its police officers, which would mean police officers can arrested and fired if they make a mistake – no matter how small – while performing their duties. This will be the end of policing in New York, and you will see a mass exodus from the department.

The New York City Council moved to end qualified immunity for police officers Thursday, making it the first big city in the nation to do so.

The legal doctrine has for decades protected officers from lawsuits alleging misconduct against those they’re arresting, unless the officer had violated a clearly established constitutional right.

Qualified immunity first came under scrutiny during the racial injustice and police brutality protests that roiled the nation in the light of George Floyd’s death.

Of course, this revolves around Saint George Floyd. He was truly a gentleman and a scholar.

The city council said in a statement the bill would protect New Yorkers against unreasonable search and seizures and against excessive force, in addition to banning qualified immunity. The Big Apple joins two states, Colorado and Connecticut, in curbing the immunity defense.

While I feel for those who live in NYC, I sincerely hope enough people wake up to what’s going on there. de Blasio despises the police and its citizens, and I would like nothing better than to watch NYC’s doom.

Pimpin’ Is Now A Little Easier

New York communist mayor Bill de Blasio has decided he will decriminalize sex work in his city, a move which will likely bring NYC back to the golden age of Mayors Koch and Dinkins.

Queens, New York, District Attorney Melinda Katz moved on Tuesday to dismiss nearly 700 cases against people charged with loitering for the purpose of prostitution.

The move came the same day New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio pushed to decriminalize sex work.

The loitering for the purpose of prostitution law was repealed last month out of concern it too often targeted women, trans people and people of color based solely on their appearance.

At this point, why not make trans people and people of color immune to any crimes? I mean, that’s where this is headed, right?

New York City has been a cesspool since de Blasio took over, and it appears the city will continue swirling the toilet for the foreseeable future. Well done, de Blasio!

Feel-Good Friday

While there is a lot of awful going on in New York City, there is also a lot of good going on inside Manhattan. After Governor Cuomo shut down the state, legendary businesses like Strand Bookstore were looking down the barrel of bankruptcy.

Then the citizens of the Big Apple stepped in.

As anyone who’s seen the film You’ve Got Mail knows, independent book sellers took a major hit when megastores moved onto the scene. With growing competition from giant online book sellers like Amazon added in, traditional brick-and-mortar bookstores had to rely on their loyal customer base.

One shining example is New York City’s Strand Bookstore, known worldwide for its “18 miles of books.” A Greenwich Village fixture since 1927, the Strand is the single remaining establishment out of 48 bookstores that once ran the length of 4th Avenue’s famous Book Row.

I’ve actually been to Strand with a friend of mine who worked in NYC. The place is enormous, and it’s Nirvana for bookworms like myself.

Unfortunately, with the Covid-19 pandemic reducing crucial foot-traffic, store proprietor Nancy Bass Wyden, granddaughter of the store’s original owner, was faced with an awful prospect of having to close the Strand’s doors for good.

In a last-ditch effort to save her beloved family business, Bass Wyden reached out to her customer base with a plea for help. “I’m going to pull out all the stops,” she tweeted, “to keep sharing our mutual love of the printed word. But for the first time in the Strand’s 93-year history, we need to mobilize the community to buy from us so we can keep our doors open until there’s a vaccine.”

Wait for it…

The response from the Strand’s loyal clientele came in the form of an avalanche of 25,000 orders over the course of a single weekend that crashed the store’s website and brought in approximately $200,000 in sales. (One enthusiastic Bronx patron ordered 197 books.)

That was followed up by round-the-block lines at the store’s flagship location on Broadway and East 12th Street in lower Manhattan when the store opened.

Amazing. It would have been a travesty if Strand had to shut their doors, both for the book lovers and those lovers of history.

I Found My Post-Retirement Career!

After the collapse of New York City, those trapped behind the wall are feeling rather unsteady. Murders are up, robberies are up, assaults are up, and people are looking for a little extra protection.

Now, thanks to Bond Bodyguards, you can purchase protection for those days you may have to drive through Harlem or the Bronx.

Unsure about my abilities to deliver a damning blow, I found the next best thing: a personal security app, called Bond, that offers trained bodyguards you can book by the half-hour on demand.

It’s body men for the everyman, not just high-profile politicians and celebs. I decided to test it out and hired a guard to meet me outside my apartment, on a busy corner in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn. It was like booking an Uber, except in this case, I got a few pre-screening calls from HQ about any known threats (no) and whether I wanted my guy to be armed (yes).

Protecting lovely, frightened New York women? Pfft, where do I sign?

My guard, a 6-foot-1 dude named Ira, had spent most of his career in the NYPD Intelligence Bureau, a job which included protecting presidents, foreign dignitaries, the dalai lama and the pope. So, as the former treasurer of my eighth grade class, I felt reasonably safe.

Ira’s services cost $87.50 for three and a half hours, which was half off thanks to promotional pricing.

I can do Bond one better. I’ll charge $80 for three and a half hours if the client wears something frilly. Obviously that applies only to the women. Well, hot women… with big boobs.

NYC Eateries Impose Coronavirus Fee

New York’s City Council – arguably the worst political body in America – has passed legislation which would allow the city’s restaurants to charge a 10% coronavirus fee to every bill.

Under a new bill passed Wednesday by the City Council, New York restaurants will be allowed to add up to a 10% charge onto customers’ tab. The bill passed on a 46-2 vote.

I see the destruction of New York City continues apace.

“The fee won’t be mandatory, and it can be any amount up to 10% of a food and drink bill. Restaurants’ permission to charge the fee will expire 90 days after the state allows full occupancy of eateries,” the New York Daily News reported. “Restaurant bills will have to be explicit about the amount of the charge and its purpose. Food trucks and restaurants that are part of national chains with 15 or more outlets will not be allowed to charge the fee.”

So not only will you pay the usual astronomical fees for a simple meal in the most expensive city on Earth, but you will also have the distinct pleasure of paying ten percent more… plus the obvious tip.

Councilman Joe Borelli of Staten Island, the bill’s sponsor, said the new fee will help restaurateurs who have been forced to close their businesses for months because of COVID-19 to recover. “This bill fundamentally is about saving the restaurant industry,” the New York Post reported.

In the interest of transparency, Joe Borelli self-identifies as a “Republican.” I assume he’s one of those Mitt Romney, John McCain, Lindsey Graham “Republicans,” since no real conservative would do something this tone deaf immediately after the country’s economy was decimated.

Now I’m not nearly as smart as the geniuses elected to New York’s City Council, but considering Bill de Blasio, et al, locked down the city, shuttered the restaurants, and bankrupted the citizens, maybe they shouldn’t screw them out of what little money the have left.

Maybe New York’s politicians can offer the city’s restaurants a payroll tax holiday? Perhaps they can offer incentives to eat downtown by offering customers free parking? Unless you make the trip worth their while, no one is going to patronize these restaurants knowing they must pay a corona virus fee.

There’s A Reason NYC Is Dying

The elite politicians in New York City thought it would be acceptable to schedule an F-18 flyover… above New York City… on September 11th.

A planned military flyover scheduled to take place over New York City waters on Friday, the 19th anniversary of Sept. 11, has sparked condemnation on social media — with many labeling the ceremony as “tone deaf” and “disrespectful.”

The New York City Emergency Management’s Notify NYC message indicated that an F-18 jet will conduct a flyover on the Hudson River headed toward the Verrazzano-Narrows Bridge at 3:30 p.m. Friday. The aircraft is expected to fly at approximately 2,500 feet.

Well, if there’s one thing New Yorkers love, it’s low-flying aircraft buzzing Manhattan. Naturally, the “mayor” claims he was unaware of the flyover – which likely needed his express permission…

The office of Mayor Bill de Blasio said, “The mayor wasn’t aware of the flyover, and frankly it’s inappropriate.”

The event was eventually canceled after the mayor’s office received multiple complaints from citizens who didn’t feel like reliving the nation’s worst terror attack. Well Bill, at least your tried.

You Are The Duke Of New York, You’re A #1

John Carpenter’s Escape from New York was supposed to be a futuristic science fiction film. As it happens, it was a prescient documentary about the fall of New York City. Don’t believe me? Read on.

An apparently unhinged man stabbed a 15-year-old boy in the head with a makeshift spear in a random attack in Times Square on Friday night, witnesses and law enforcement sources said.

Since Mayor Bill de Blasio is the architect of New York City’s demise, I would suggest he is the “Brain,” character, but let’s be honest; the guy is a dolt.

The boy was rushed to Bellevue Hospital with a three-quarters-inch gash to his forehead after the harrowing encounter — and the spear-waving maniac was taken there too after being Tased by NYPD officers.

Aquaman will probably be released without bail, but the NYPD officers will likely be charged, sentenced, and fired for tasing the peaceful protester.

The 53-year-old man, who was wearing shorts, a black headband and high black socks, had attacked the teen boy as he was out with his family near 42nd Street and Seventh Avenue at around 6:40 p.m. His weapon was a broomstick with a pocketknife attached to one end, a law enforcement source said.

Bravo, Mayor de Blasio; you turned a peaceful, family-friendly part of the city into a war zone in less than six months. I will shed not one tear when your entire city collapses… which should happen before year’s end.

Caption Contest Winners

The Hiding From Liberty Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. Stay perfectly still. Her vision is based on movement. – Barry D.
4. How to catch a unique rabbit: You neek up on it. – TX Nick
3. I see the white, middle class libs are getting ready to demand Lady Liberty be torn down next. – MelP
2. Be wary, wary qwuiet! I’m hunting wiberals! – Mike AKA Proof

WINNER! – Hey lady can I get a courtesy flush? – Kevin