Feel-Good Friday

Speaking of the Outer Banks, a researcher at the Florida Museum of Natural History began the quest to find the origins of wild ponies in Maryland, Virginia, and North Carolina.

The findings were amazing, and shed light on the history of the ponies.

Wild feral horses have roamed freely across an island off the coast of Maryland and Virginia for hundreds of years, but exactly how they got there has remained a mystery. Now, ancient DNA extracted from a 16th century tooth suggest that the old folk tales claiming that horses were marooned on Assateague following a Spanish shipwreck are likely true.

An abandoned Caribbean colony unearthed centuries after it had been forgotten and a case of mistaken identity with the tooth—long thought to be from a cow—have conspired to rewrite the history of that barrier island 1,000 miles away.

We were watching a documentary of this last week and it was fascinating.

Those seemingly unrelated threads were woven together when Nicolas Delsol, a postdoctoral researcher at the Florida Museum of Natural History, set out to analyze ancient DNA recovered from cow bones found in archaeological sites. Delsol wanted to understand how cattle were domesticated in the Americas, and the genetic information preserved in centuries-old teeth held the answer. But they also held a surprise.

The specimen’s surprise wasn’t revealed until Delsol compared its DNA with that of modern horses from around the world. Given that the Spanish brought their horses from the Iberian Peninsula in southern Europe, he expected horses still living in that region would be the closest living relatives of the 500-year-old Puerto Real specimen.

According to the research, the Spaniards were responsible for moving the ponies into Maryland, Virginia, and North Carolina.

Beware The Briny Deep

The wreckage of Blackbeard’s ship, Queen Anne’s Revenge, is highlighting a Supreme Court case where the videographer documenting the wreckage is suing North Carolina for copyright violations.

Rick Allen has spent much of his life documenting “Queen Anne’s Revenge,” the ship owned by the famed pirate Blackbeard. It washed up on the shores near Beaufort Inlet over 300 years ago.

But Allen says the state of North Carolina pirated his video by using it without his permission online.

“It certainly feels a duty to other artists, and composers and musicians and software developers and people like me who don’t have something to do about copyright infringement by states,” Allen added. After six years of battling the state of North Carolina Allen’s here at the Supreme Court.

Ryan Park, the Deputy Solicitor General for the state of North Carolina, argued the state can’t be sued for copyright.

I’m fairly certain they can, but in either case, would it be that difficult to ask permission, or pay a fee for the video? It’s not like the state of North Carolina is hurting for money.

She’s Giving Me Good Vibrations

When initiating a career in burglary and/or theft, it is always a good idea to prioritize your targets. For instance, it’s better to search for jewelry instead of clothing. It’s also better to look for electronics than, say, sex toys.

A burglar broke into a North Carolina residence last week and stole a 12-inch sex toy.

Brunswick County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded Wednesday evening to a reported break-in at a residence in Leland, a town 10 miles from Wilmington.

The burglary suspect, who remains at large, entered the Buckwood Court home and departed with the “12” electric vibrator wand,” two pieces of jewelry, coins, and several other items worth a combined $450.

The beauty of this theft is the thief can place the rings on the toy, so it’s less to carry.

The stolen sex toy is valued at $30, according to the report, which does not reveal whether the item was new or used. Or if it came with batteries.

Maybe it was one of those hybrids you can plug into a socket at a gas station?

Sun’s Out, Guns Out

misty-michelle-flowersMeet Misty Michelle Flowers.

Misty works as a sheriff’s deputy in North Carolina – or she did, before she shot her daughter while playing with a loaded gun.

An off-duty North Carolina deputy has been fired after she accidentally shot her 11-year-old daughter while showing off her service weapon to friends.

Lincoln County Sheriff’s Office deputy Misty Michelle Flowers, 38, was reportedly showing the handgun to guests attending a Halloween party at her Lincolnton home on Saturday night when it discharged.

The bullet went through a wall and struck her daughter in the abdomen in the next room, who is expected to recover.

Now poor Misty must seek alternative employment. May I suggest pole dancing? She is pretty enough, boasts the perfect stripper name, and has experience with accidental discharges.

Eyes On The Prize

hillary-clintons-eyesHillary Clinton’s Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week has been extended indefinitely, thanks in part to Donald Trump overtaking her in North Carolina.

In response, Clinton canceled a campaign fundraiser in the state yesterday.

Wait, what?

If there was a time Hillary needed to make a public appearance in the key battleground state of North Carolina to drum up voter support, it was today, if for no other reason than an Elon University poll finding Trump now has a 44% advantage among likely voters in the Tar Heel State, with 43% going to Clinton.

Which is why we find it surprising that with Hillary’s desperately needing to make an appearance, overnight CBS reported that Clinton campaign officials said that a Tuesday fundraiser in Chapel Hill was postponed.

The Clinton event was billed as “lunch with Hillary Rodham Clinton” and had four donation levels to attend. Those contribution levels were described as $100,000, which featured “chair reception with Hillary,” $33,000, which included a “host reception with Hillary,” $5,000, which included “preferred seating” and $2,700.

No reason was given for postponement of the Clinton event, which was planned to take place at the home of Betty Craven and Michael Warner.

A reasonable person can conclude the cancellation was due, in part, to Clinton’s failing health. No politician cancels an opportunity to raise money, especially this close to an election. The article also notes Hillary’s “crazy eyes” – my term, not theirs – spotted during an event in Philadelphia on Monday.

Either way, none of this bodes well for the Democratic nominee.

North Carolina Wins Lacrosse Titles

North Carolina Lacrosse Wins Championship

The North Carolina Tar Heels won their first Men’s Lacrosse Championship in 25 years Monday, beating the number-one seeded Maryland Terrapins. They weren’t my rooting interest, but damn if the Heels didn’t earn the victory.

The Tar Heels, the first unseeded team to win a national title in 43 years, defy a lot of things — logic and the odds, for starters — and they really don’t care. And that’s really what defines them: a beautiful indifference that culminated in their first national championship in 25 years.

“Pressure is a funny thing,” head coach Joe Breschi said. “We had zero pressure. We were picked the lowest we’ve ever been picked in the eight years since I’ve been here and last in the ACC, and these guys were on a mission.”

The winners? North Carolina, making UNC the first school since Princeton in 1994 to win both the men’s and women’s titles.

Yeah, the women’s team beat Maryland for the lacrosse title the day before the men’s game.

UNC Women's Lacrosse Champions

Suffice to say, it was a good weekend for Chapel Hill.

Fantastic Four

Final Four Bracket

Kyle, Erik, and I spent our Saturday at Philadelphia’s Lincoln Financial Field. Philly was hosting the NCAA Men’s Lacrosse Championships, so we grabbed tickets to the Division I Final Four. We’ve gone to championship weekend in 2013 and 2015, and this is the last time Philly will be hosting until at least 2019.

I may have completely disregarded slightly bent my surgeon’s orders by driving before Monday, but nothing was keeping me from the games. My stubbornness bit me in the apple-shaped bottom, however, because it was crazy hot, and I underestimated the amount of walking I had to do. I did not feel well before the games, and felt worse afterward, but I survived.

No thanks to a punk kid who accidentally elbowed my in the stitches…

Continue reading “Fantastic Four”

Cuomo Strikes Out

Governor Andrew Cuomo

The Hudson Valley Community College baseball team will be prohibited from participating in the national championships, thanks to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s douchetastic liberalism.

The Hudson Valley Community College baseball team will not be going to nationals because of Governor Andrew Cuomo’s ban on non-essential travel to North Carolina, a state with the radical notion that bathrooms should be separated by biological identification.

Players and coaches were told by school officials that should they qualify for the nationals in North Carolina, they won’t be permitted to go, as the college is restricting non-essential travel to the state under Gov. Cuomo’s executive order.

The ban is in response to a North Carolina law that prohibits transgender people from using restrooms of the gender they associate with.

So because Cuomo’s vagina is sandy over North Carolina’s bathroom law, the HVCC baseball team is forced to suffer? Wow. It’s ironic how easily liberals can both stand up for one group’s rights while simultaneously infringing upon another’s.