The Days Of Wine And Hoses

Say what you want about the NYPD; they always get their man beer.

Police stole $30,000 worth of booze as part of an illegal seizure at a Bronx restaurant — along with $10,000 in cash from the owner’s adjacent business, a lawsuit charges.

Rolando Feliz says he watched as cops from the 50th Precinct hauled off his entire stock of suds and spirits, from Corona and Negro Modelo to Patrón Silver and Hennessy — 124 cases in total.

Cell phone video obtained by The News shows beer, wine and liquor being packed into two police vans during the May raid. Vouchers were never turned over to Feliz or the Bronx district attorney’s office, and the loot has not been located.

Now, I’m sure it’s all just a simple misunderstanding. The officers put all the recovered items on property receipts, and checked it in to, um, the parking lot after the shift ended.

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DeBlasio Literally Has Officers’ Backs

As New York City Mayor Bill DeBlasio eulogized murdered officer Miosotis Familia, the NYPD’s rank and file gave the leftist politician all the respect he deserves.

The disgusted Finest were assembled outside the World Changers Church in The Bronx on Tuesday as part of the overflow crowd of mourners for assassinated Officer Miosotis Familia. They showed the building their backs as speakers broadcast de Blasio’s eulogy for Familia from inside.

The protest came after de Blasio skipped town to participate in protests at the G-20 summit in Germany last week — the day after Familia was killed by cop-hating gunman Alexander Bonds.

And as he prepared for the trip, the mayor missed a swearing-in ceremony for new police recruits, an event that was especially poignant in light of Familia’s murder.

Few politicians have shown greater contempt for police officers than Bill DeBlasio, so I understand the officers’ revulsion. That said, I don’t think I would have done that. For me, it’s more about respect for Officer Familia than it is about sending a message to the despicable DeBlasio.

NYPD Dick Caught Grabbing His Johnson

A New York City police detective was arrested after being caught spanking the monkey outside his neighbors’ homes.

And yes, this is an NYPD detective; I do all my spanking in the privacy of the church confessional.

Detective Robert Francis was arrested after one homeowner in Rockville Centre called 911 to report that a man was standing in the backyard masturbating.

Francis allegedly entered the back yards of more than one home and shined a flashlight inside until he got someone’s attention. Then, as the person was looking at him, Francis shined the light on himself to show he was fondling himself. (H/T – AOSHQ)

What. The. F**k? I guess he wanted to show his cuffs before he was collared.

A New York Strip

A New York City police officer has been suspended after showing up for work with a sopped liver.

A Bronx cop was stripped of his gun and badge amid allegations that he was drunk on the job — and a photo emerged of him passed out in the stationhouse locker room with his beer belly exposed.

Officer Richard Evans was deemed “unfit for duty” during his midnight-to-8 a.m. shift in the 52nd Precinct in Norwood.

Someone at the scene also shot video of the allegedly drunken cop and made a complaint to 311. A sergeant responded, declared Evans fit for duty, and the cops all left without making any arrests.

Evans stayed in the field until a short time later, when a duty captain summoned him back to the precinct stationhouse. The captain interviewed Evans, declared him unfit for duty and immediately suspended him.

I assume the sergeant’s ineptitude will be explained away by claiming Officer Evans drank an entire gallon of vodka in the half hour between the sergeant’s evaluation and the captain’s.

Moo York

The NYPD tracked down a runaway cow yesterday after it escaped a slaughterhouse. The cow was eventually caught, and “confiscated” by the department for their upcoming Blizzard BBQ.

A cow briefly escaped from a Queens slaughterhouse, running free through the city’s busy streets before being corralled in a nearby parking lot by employees and New York City police officers.

Police received the call from a halal slaughterhouse on 165th Street in the Jamaica neighborhood. The brazen cow escaped down 165th Street, made a left onto Archer Avenue and ran a few blocks before heading into a parking lot.

Employees from the slaughter house were able to secure the cow and take it back into custody.

The officers were docked a day’s pay for milkin’ the job.

There’s a pic of the bovine below the fold. You should see the size of this thing!