The Square Root Of Idiocy

An Ohio student was suspended from school and investigated by police after he said a square root sign looked like a gun.

The Allen Parish Sheriff’s Department responded to a comment that an Oberlin High School student made about the square root symbol looking like a gun.

Allen Parish School District Superintendent Michael Doucet explained that it was a poorly judged quip between one student to another in a math class.

“A student made a math symbol of a square root sign, which kind of looks like a pistol. And he was helping a weaker student, and the student says, ‘Well, that looks like a pistol!’ And he just made a comment [like] ‘let’s just get to work before I shoot you with a pistol,” said Superintendent Doucet.

Gossip turned it into a rumor about the student plotting to carry out a mass shooting at Oberlin High School. The rumor warranted a search of the student’s home for guns.

So wait, gossip-turned-rumor is enough probable cause to obtain a search warrant in Ohio? Are you f**king kidding me?

“He did not commit a crime. He did not commit anything remotely criminal, nothing to remotely suggest any intent to do actual harm,” said Hebert.

In response, the school board set a new policy. Any student accused of talking about guns or school shootings will be investigated by three entities: the school board, the sheriff’s department, and the district attorney’s office.

While the student has been completely exonerated by police, Oberlin High School is still banning him from the school. These kinds of Draconian measures will eventually result in an expensive lawsuit.