Three Cheers For Florida!

Lord knows I poke fun of Florida and some of their less-than-reputable residents, and sometimes it’s warranted, sometimes not. Today, however, I plan to praise Florida; specifically the sunbathers at Panama City Beach.

Briana Stelmachers and her family were lounging outside the Emerald Isle Resort in Panama City Beach on Wednesday when they heard a woman screaming for help.

A little girl had gotten pulled out in the tide, and a woman had successfully swum out to save her, but a second woman involved in the rescue effort had herself gotten stuck. That’s when Ryan, Briana’s husband, took a raft and tried to rescue the woman, but the surf was too rough and he struggled to reach her.

The safe return was thanks to dozens of people coming together across the beach to form a human chain and reach out into the water.

Damn fine work, Floridians! You did yourselves proud.

Jumping Jehoshaphat

A Florida man did not look before he leaped this week, when he decided to parachute off the 14th floor of the Sunrise Beach Resort. Unfortunately the Batman wannabe’s parachute did not open, and the man fell to his death.

A man died Sunday after jumping off a Panama City Beach hotel balcony with a parachute.

WJHG reported Panama City Beach police received a call late Sunday at Sunrise Beach Resort on Front Beach Road. Police said a man in his 20s jumped from the 14th floor and it appeared the parachute didn’t deploy.

It is not known if the man was from Panama City Beach or out-of-town.

Considering the state, I’m fairly this guy was from Flori-Duh.