True Detective Stories

It is not an exaggeration to surmise I have lost the zeal for my job. Sure, I still go in early, do my job professionally and proficiently, and help out the newer detectives when they have questions. Recently however, I have found I do almost everything here.


Every two weeks, the bosses downtown hold a Compstat meeting. They discuss all the crimes over the past two weeks, and grill divisional captains about what they are going to do about it. (The answer is nothing, but everyone has to play the game.)

Monday was very busy, and while I was entering my squad’s jobs, the captain’s aide came out with a pile of paperwork. She said, “The captain needs all of these jobs entered into the Deskman system before you leave for the day.”

I asked the aide how many of these jobs were from my squad, and she replied, “None. You are the only deskperson who has everything entered.” When I asked why I had to enter jobs from the other two shifts, I got a shrug, and a “because the captain said so.”

So, I was forced to enter another twelve jobs on top of the twenty-four I had to enter for my squad.

Look, I understand I’m here for eight hours, and I’m supposed to work the entire time. I also understand if I refused to enter jobs – especially major ones – I would be brought into the captain’s office and reamed out for an hour. To date neither of the other desk people have been questioned about why they have been slacking – fine, whatever – but I should not be the go-to guy when someone else screws up.

When I was finished, I asked the aide why it’s always me putting in the entries. She said, “Because you’re dependable.” Well, that dependability ends in 1,108 days. Good luck getting someone dependable to replace me.

True Detective Stories

The photo above is a good representation of what I walked into last night. During my two days off, my substitutes did quite literally nothing, and left me with nineteen unassigned jobs. Every one had to be assigned and entered, which took up the first two and a half hours of the tour.

By the time I was finished the old jobs, I had another pile of live jobs, which also had to be assigned and entered. The first three jobs were a commercial burglary, an overdose, and a gun arrest. Since our supervisors let everyone take off for any reason, we only had four detectives on the floor… during a hot night… on a Friday. It took me until 7pm – half my tour – to finally catch up with everything.

My roundabout point here is this: the manpower in this department is a disgrace. The Defund the Police movement is real, and it has real repercussions. The jobs continue coming in, and we don’t have nearly enough detectives to handle all the cases. So the cops end up sitting in the lobby until someone is available, which means there are less detectives and less patrol officers.

The worst part is we aren’t even at the summer vacation periods yet. When June hits, we’ll be making do with two detectives a tour instead of four. The city refuses to hire new officers, the department refuses to promote more detectives, and when the workload becomes too strained, we have to pass jobs to the next shift.

Now, don’t get me wrong; I think blue cities absolutely deserve this. This is what they wanted, so I will shed no tears. I do, however, wonder when the train will come down this city’s tracks, striking all the people who wanted a lawless town. I doubt they’ll see the light coming.

1,259 days.

True Detective Stories

With the advent of four-hour shifts – an effort to keep detectives from catching the Wuhan virus – a different detective works the front desk during the second part of the tour. The desk person is arguably the most important position in the division, because he/she is responsible for most of the important duties. Obviously, you want someone with half a brain to be assigned there.

In their infinite wisdom, my supervisors chose Diego the Idiot Detective.

You may remember Diego from previous TDS posts. He is quite literally the dumbest person I ever met. Diego may also be the laziest person I ever met, since the photo above shows all the jobs he left me on his first night in relief.

During his part of the tour, he entered three – THREE – jobs in a four-hour shift, while leaving me fourteen to enter the next evening.

Not only that he left me this present the next day, because why should Diego have to do his job when Wyatt can fix everything for him?

Look, I don’t mind working, and there have been times where I’ve put in fifty jobs in an eight-hour tour. We’re a bust division, so I expect there to be a lot of reports. But when we’re slow, and dealing with a pandemic, is it too much to ask other detectives to do their jobs?

Judging by these photos, I guess the answer is yes.

True Detective Stories

I’m not sure how entertaining this post will be, since I was really pissed at the time, but if I didn’t write about, I’d likely end up strangling the next person I see.

Yesterday was the start of the godawful day shift. As a result, there was a stack of paperwork on my desk, because the fill-ins do the bare minimum. “Why not, since Wyatt can handle it after his days off?” In total, there were fifteen unassigned jobs waiting; many of them should have been given out immediately.

So, I spent the first two hours entering the assorted jobs and assigning them to the detectives. If nothing else, it makes the day go by a little bit faster. By 9am, I was ready to work on the active jobs funneling in, when the captain’s clerk stopped by.

“Wyatt, the computer system was down yesterday, and there are thirty-three jobs which have to be put into the system and assigned.”

This did not please me. “Um, okay. I was off yesterday, and all of these jobs are from the other squad? Is there any reason why I specifically have to enter these?”

“The captain wants them in a.s.a.p,” she replied before walking away…

Continue reading “True Detective Stories”

True Detective Stories

For the record, Zoe Saldana has nothing to do with this post, but if I didn’t post some eye candy, I would have literally lost my mind. This post is more of a play-by-play instead of my usual rambling soliloquies, but the points you need to remember are as follows: rookie cops, assault, and paperwork. Also, take note of the times listed on the right. Let’s begin.

1:18pm – Two officers responded to a report of an assault and observed the first male offender punching the female victim. During the incident, another male jumped on one of the officers and tried to interfere with the arrest.

1:30pm – The officers arrested the two male offenders, and transported the offenders and victim/witnesses to the division.

2:45pm – I walk into work, fifteen minutes early (as usual), and the victim is banging on the window, asking to use the bathroom. The woman stated she had already been in the hallway for nearly an hour, had not been interviewed yet, and was none too pleased…

Continue reading “True Detective Stories”