Yanks For The Mammaries

A Florida man had some explaining to do when he was literally caught with his pants down while ogling a woman inside her residence.

Deputies in Volusia County captured the arrest of 37-year-old Javier Orozco Gutierrez on body cameras Saturday evening.

According to authorities, deputies had been monitoring the area all week after receiving reports of a man exposing himself to a woman. While surveilling the home, deputies said they caught Gutierrez in the act, with his pants down outside the victim’s home.

It’s the classic conundrum, do you finish, or pull up your pants?

Police said Gutierrez told deputies he was out to get some exercise.

Now, I’m no health expert, but I don’t believe Yankin’ Your Doodle, It’s A Dandy is considered exercise by the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports and Nutrition.

You Hear From Tom? No, Not A Peep

Meet Victor Vickery. While Victor has an unfortunate name, he also found himself in an unfortunate event when he found a Middle Eastern peeping tom spying on him and his girlfriend while they were having sex.

Victor Vickery, 30, was taken into custody on Thursday following an investigation into the July 2018 death of 57-year-old Asaad Akar by the Fort Lauderdale Police.

Sgt. Steven Novak said in the arrest affidavit that Vickery told him he was inside his girlfriend’s home “and they were getting intimate when they heard a scratching on the window and possibly somebody pulling on it.”

Vickery ran outside naked and confronted Akar, who was allegedly peeping into his girlfriend’s bedroom window and had exposed himself. The suspect then proceeded to fight with the man, punching and kicking him several times.

The medical examiner said Akar died from multiple blunt trauma injuries to his head and torso and that the manner of death was ruled a homicide.

The worst thing about this incident is Victor’s friend claimed the girlfriend kept telling Victor to stop beating Akar. That won’t play well with a jury. However, I’ll wager the attorneys can easily find a jury who would acquit Vickery considering the circumstances. Most people have little tolerance for perverts.