We Are! Nanny State!

If the obnoxious alumni and the multitude of scandals isn’t enough to turn off Penn State University, this idiotic decision may push you off the cliff.

The Penn State Outing Club, originally founded in 1920, announced last week that the university will no longer allow the club to organize outdoor, student-led trips starting next semester. The hiking, camping and other outdoors-focused activities the student-led club has long engaged in are too risky, the university’s offices of Student Affairs and Risk Management determined.

Richard Waltz, the Outing Club’s current president, said that the decision was made by an office that never consulted them.

The decision was based on a two-month review that didn’t include consultation with student leaders at any of the clubs deemed too risky.

In fairness, who joins to Outing Club to go outdoors?

Two other outdoor recreation clubs — the spelunking Nittany Grotto Caving Club and the Nittany Divers SCUBA Club — also have been directed to end trip offerings.

For their part, the SCUBA Club will now conduct their business in plastic toddler pools.

Penn State conducted a “proactive risk assessment” not based on any previous participant injuries, according to Powers. She said Outing Club activities were rated high risk because they take place in remote environments with poor cell service and distance from emergency services.

In essence, the rocket surgeons at Penn State hired a group of ambulance-chasing lawyers and asked then how the university could avoid future suits. This was their well thought-out, practical idea. Bravo, Penn State; you are insuring the financial security of the university for years to come.

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What’s Biting Gilbert’s Grape?

Meet Ethan Gilbert. Ethan is a student at Penn State University, an institution quickly becoming the Flori-Duh of colleges.

Ethan had a run in with the law last weekend, where he gave the officers an example of his biting wit.

PSU student Ethan Gilbert, 20, was accused of using someone else’s license to get into the popular bar just before midnight, and police officers were called to the scene.

The arriving cops pressed Gilbert, of Lansdowne, Pa., for his real identification and information — but he took off on foot, instead.

The foot chase ended with the police officer catching up to Gilbert, but the student still wasn’t done. He allegedly bit the officer trying to arrest him on the finger, along with allegedly pushing the cop.

Judging by his mug shot, Ethan appears to be either a gender studies scholar or a pharmacology major.