A Waste Of Perfectly Good Cleavage

Meet Taejah Clay (common spelling).

Taejah was looking for a fabulous ensemble at a Pensacola Walmart. Something which would accentuate her ample curves as equally as her godawful catsuit. I mean, really, who wears a catsuit?

When attempting to steal from Walmart at 7:50 AM, it is best to dress in an inconspicuous manner so as not to draw the attention of store security.

Or you can wear a revealing, skintight “Baby Girl” catsuit like Taejah Clay.

The 20-year-old Louisiana woman was arrested late last month after she and a teenage accomplice allegedly switched the price tags on hats and shorts in a Walmart in Pensacola, Florida. The duo was detained after checking out with the illegally discounted merchandise (which was valued at about $50).

Arrested for stealing $50 worth of clothing; are you seriously that stupid? “Baby Girl” could probably smuggle the catsuit into jail and make some money pimping herself out to her cellmate.

Florida Jumps The Shark

A Florida high school student and her mother are being charged for – get this – rigging an election for homecoming queen. And you thought you were mad after the 2020 presidential election?

Emily Rose Grover was still 17 when she was arrested in March. She turned 18 in April, and the State Attorney’s Office in Escambia County confirmed Tuesday that Grover will be tried as an adult. Grover and her mother, Laura Rose Carroll, 50, face multiple felony charges stemming from the October homecoming vote at Tate High School in Pensacola.

This is a joke, right? I mean, police officers cannot possibly be investigating an “election” which literally means nothing, right? Has Florida wiped out crime in their state?

While employed as an assistant principal at Bellview Elementary School in the same county, Carroll accessed the school district’s internal system to cast fraudulent votes for her daughter so that she would win, officials said. The investigation began in November when the Escambia County School District reported unauthorized access into hundreds of student accounts, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.

Investigators found that in October, hundreds of votes for the school’s homecoming court were flagged as fraudulent, the news release said. There were 117 votes from the same IP address within a short period of time, the investigation found.

I’m not sure which is more egregious; the fact Florida spent valuable police resources to lock up someone for homecoming fraud, or the fact that we can order up a high school homecoming investigation, but we cannot investigate the rampant 2020 election fraud.