You Better Run

Pittsburgh’s Parkway West was shut down for two hours after a man tried to sprint across six lanes to catch his Uber ride.

Part of the inbound Parkway West was shut down for hours Friday afternoon following a crash that killed a pedestrian near the Fort Pitt Tunnel.

Pennsylvania State Police confirmed a 32-year-old man who was crossing the westbound lanes into the eastbound lanes was struck by a vehicle and killed.

Police said the man was attempting to cross six lanes of traffic to get to an Uber vehicle that was waiting for him. He was struck by a vehicle in the center lane.

Couldn’t the man just call the Uber driver and ask him to pick him up?

State police said the driver of that vehicle stayed at the scene and is cooperating with the investigation.

While the man’s death is horrible, the good news is he almost beat the high score for Frogger!

Animal Murders Eleven In PA Synagogue

A Pennsylvania savage walked into the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh and yelled, “All Jews must die!” before assassinating eleven people and wounding many others.

Eleven people have been killed and a number of others injured after a shooting at The Tree of Life Synagogue in Squirrel Hill on Saturday.

Police sources tell KDKA’s Andy Sheehan the gunman, 48-year-old Robert Bowers, walked into the building and yelled, “All Jews must die.” Sheehan’s sources also confirmed that eleven people have died. No children are among the deceased. Bowers was reportedly armed with an AR-15 and three handguns.

Hissrich said at least six other people were injured, including several police officers. Two of the officers were among the first responders to the scene. At least one other was a member of the SWAT team.

It is my sincere hope Bowers is convicted and sentenced to death. Then this piece of garbage can explain his actions to a Higher Authority.

A GoFundMe page has also been set up to benefit the victims, their families and the synagogue. If you would like to donate, click here.

Stealers Wheel

A Pittsburgh thief found more than he bargained for when he attempted to steal the wheels off an unoccupied van.

A man who had apparently tried to steal wheels from a van was found dead Tuesday morning in Pittsburgh, with the vehicle on top of him, authorities said.

“According to the investigation, it is believed the male victim was attempting to steal the wheels from a van when the vehicle fell on top of him,” said a statement from the city’s Public Safety Department. (H/TAOSHQ)

The good news is instead of paying for an expensive coffin, the coroner can just slip this dumbass’ corpse under the door.

The Iron City Sees An Influx Of Rust

It’s official: America has gone batshit insane.

There is a new survey out which claims the nation’s top retirement spot is not Miami, Phoenix, or Los Angeles; it’s… Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania?

Bankrate.com’s new ranking of the nation’s 50 largest metro areas as retirement havens gives less weight to iconic hallmarks and more to practical attributes that can add up to a better overall quality of life.

The results are decidedly counterintuitive. The Pittsburgh area – yes, Steel City – was rated the nation’s best place to retire, followed by the Boston and Los Angeles regions. Meanwhile, traditional senior playgrounds like Miami-Fort Lauderdale and Las Vegas were rated 30th and 42nd, respectively.

Not surprisingly, Pittsburgh scored poorly for its weather and just average for its tax burden. Its average annual temperature is 52 degrees and it snows an average 40 days a year, while the combined state and local income tax rate averages 4.6%, in line with the national average. But it ranked high in most other categories, with a low crime rate, affordable cost of living. good, low-cost health care and a top-ranked “friend factor,” with 18% of the population age 65 or over.

Yes, retirees have literally lost their cotton-pickin’ minds. As a lifelong Pennsylvania resident, I can assure you the only good things about Pittsburgh are the Penguins, the University of Pittsburgh (my niece goes there), and Julie Benz.