The Nightmare Food Before Xmas

The Christmas season is fast approaching, and what better way to celebrate the holidays than by decorating your Christmas tree with pizza-flavored candy canes.

These are the pizza flavored candy canes just released by Archie McPhee. Six bucks will score you a box of six canes. Some more info while I sensually suck-sharpen a regular candy cane then try to break off the end in my coworker Greg’s leg:

Delizioso! If you want pizza flavor, these candy canes deliver! A sure sign of the quality of these canes is the personified pizza slice on the package. Who wouldn’t trust that face? This set of six candy canes is like a little slice of Italian-spiced heaven, allegedly cooked in a candy-fired oven by Sicilian elves.

There may not be a person in America who loves pizza more than me. That said, there is no way in hell you’ll ever see me nibbling a pizza-flavored candy cane. Ever.