Support Your Local Pizza Maker

Shakey's Pizza Place

A divorce is a difficult thing for a couple to endure, especially when children are involved. The breakup is doubly difficult in a down economy when child support is involved. Sometimes dads need to be creative in their payments. Take Nicola Toso, for example.

When Nicola Toso split from his wife Nicoletta Zuin in 2002, he agreed to pay child support for their daughter, who was then 6 years old. The local Il Gazzettino newspaper reported that the amount was 300 euros, or about $335, per month.

But when a crippling recession struck the southern European country in 2008, the 50-year-old professional pizza maker from Padua could no longer afford to hand over the support in cold, hard cash.

Instead, he offered to stump up the equivalent sum in the form of pies, calzones and other meals made by his take-away business.

Believe it or not, the Italian courts ruled this was acceptable payment… as long as the pizzas were delivered with normal toppings, and not covered in pineapples or ham. If you like pineapple of ham on your pizza, you not only have questionable tastes, but are also a terrible human being.

And don’t even get me started on people who put ketchup on hot dogs.

Unfit At Any Speed

John Kasich Eats Pizza With A ForkThere are very few absolute axioms in life. You never eat the yellow snow, you don’t order food at a strip club, and you never, ever eat pizza with a fork.

During a stop at a pizza joint in New York on Wednesday, John Kasich drew the mock ire of locals and reporters on Twitter as he used a fork.

“Look, look, the pizza came scalding hot, OK? And so I use a little fork,” the governor told Good Morning America. “You know what? My wife who is on spring break with my daughters said, ‘I’m proud of you. You finally learned how to use a utensil properly.’ But I mean — not only did I eat the pizza, I had the hot sausage. It was fantastic.”

Not only is John Kasich unfit for the office of President of the United States, I believe he should be impeached as governor of Ohio, beaten with sticks of pepperoni, and deported to the country with the world’s worst pizza. Let’s say… Liberia.