Well, I should be looking like this by Christmastime, thanks to Philadelphia’s drunken, douchebag mayor. Jim “I’ll Have Another Drink” Kenney will be shutting down the city tomorrow through January 2nd, and among the soon-to-be-dead are gyms and fitness centers.
I’ve been really good at getting to the gym three to four times a week, and alternating days with ten-mile bike rides. I’m currently sitting at 188 pounds, and I’d like to get below 185 -where I was before the March shutdown.
None of this makes any sense. Essentially, the mayor is claiming gyms need to shut down because the members may pass on the Chinese Wuhan Virus, even after the local Planet Fitness spokesman said not one of the gyms has had an outbreak since reopening in September. Not one. Worse still, why would you punish the people who are working their asses off to stay healthy. That’s likely the reason we’ve had no outbreaks… because we’re working out every other day.
Instead, this dick would have us locked in our homes, gaining weight, and making us more susceptible to catch the virus. It’s the most ridiculous paradox I have ever seen.
Our jackass mayor’s capricious reasoning was based upon Philadelphia’s 1,900 Chinese Wuhan Virus deaths, and 55,000 positive tests. So, in Philadelphia, the fatality rate of the virus is 3.4 percent. OH MY GOD SHUT IT DOWN!
Today is my last day at the gym until next year, and after talking to some of the employees at my gym, they are less than pleased. They will be unemployed through the New Year, and some of them have no idea how they’ll make ends meet, let alone pay for a nice Christmas for their families.
It took me two months to get back into shape, only to be banned from my gym thanks to a petulant drunken dictator. Pretty soon, it’ll be too cold to ride the bike, and with no gym, I’m going to have to find other ways to stay slightly less fat.