She Bangs, She Bangs!

The United States Air Force is relaxing some of its uniform regulations, and most of the females will be pleasantly surprised.

Women across the Air Force and Space Force rejoiced on Thursday to the news that the service will allow them to wear their hair longer than before, thereby loosening constraints that many airmen said had resulted in migraines, hair damage, and hair loss.

The new grooming standards allow Air Force and Space Force women to wear their hair in up to two braids or a single ponytail with bulk not exceeding the width of the head and length not extending below a horizontal line running between the top of each sleeve inseam at the underarm through the shoulder blades, according to a press release. In addition, women’s bangs may now touch their eyebrows, but not cover their eyes.

Good grief, who still wears bangs?

The branch’s top enlisted airman, Chief Master Sgt. of the Air Force JoAnne Bass, said the changes reflect the diversity of the force.

Yes, because nothing is more important than *checks notes* diversity in the military.

Groom Like A Pirate Day

After the U.S. Navy relaxed the hair restrictions on female sailors, the males immediately asked, “What about us?”

The Navy said last week servicewomen could sport ponytails, lock hairstyles, or ropelike strands, and wider hair buns, reversing a policy that long forbade women from letting their hair down.

Servicemen immediately chimed in on social media, asking the Navy if they could grow beards. A sailor’s Facebook post with a #WeWantBeards hashtag was shared thousands of times.

Wow, who could have seen that coming?

Beards were banned in 1984. The Navy wanted professional-looking sailors who could wear firefighting masks and breathing apparatuses without interference. The Navy says that’s still the case. Still, some hope the change in female grooming standards opens the door.

My police department is in the same boat – pun intended. Female officers can pretty much wear their hair (or color it) however they like. A decade ago, an African-American officer sported purple highlights during roll call. The men (mostly African-Americans) immediately jumped in, claiming they should be able to wear beards.

When I entered the police academy, we were informed of the dress code in the first hour. If we could not conform, we would not make it through the academy. Every single recruit agreed. The navy is the same way. No one is hiding the dress code from recruits; it’s posted for all the world to see. Servicemen shouldn’t be demanding the rules be changed just because some chicks received – unnecessary, in my opinion – leniency.