Was It Finger Licking Good?

Meet Vanessa Lee Jones of St. Parkersburg, Florida. (Vanessa is the woman, not the sailor.) Vanessa sure loves her chicken; so much so that she spent the bulk of her day with breasts and thighs.

A woman in the United States who was arrested for public masturbation just a few weeks ago has been arrested again for the same offence.

Vanessa Lee Jones was completely naked when she was seen thoroughly enjoying herself by passers-by outside a chicken shop in St Petersburg, Florida.

See, that’s why you get the chicken wings and not the chicken strips. It’s rather difficult to diddle yourself without the bones. Or so I’m told.

According to the St Petersburg police arrest paperwork, Jones, 38, showed no sign of being drunk or under the influence of drugs, and there was no evidence of mental health issues. Nevertheless, she was observed outside Popeye’s Fried Chicken at 10am entirely naked and touching herself.

Arresting officers “also witnessed the defendant masturbating in front of the dumpster completely naked…”

Officers also claimed Vanessa was rubbing herself so hard she literally started a dumpster fire.