I Cannot Stress This Enough

This will likely be the most stressful weekend of my life.

Today I am scheduled for an interview – again – with Internal Affairs. I have a vague idea of what it is about, and although I am not a primary target, the notice said I “may” be a target. It is also likely I may see some form of disciplinary action, if for no other reason than the department gives out disciplinary action often anymore.

In twenty-five years, I have been to IA less than ten times. I have been the target four times previously, and I have never received any disciplinary measures. That’s a rare thing for someone with so much time on the job.

I think today will be different, however. I think the city is finally going to hit me with a suspension, and while I can handle anything but a dismissal, watching a perfect record go down in flames is frustrating.

I talked to the missus, and I think whatever the outcome of this case, I am going to look into the early retirement program. Soon. I would sign my papers, work four more years, and then retire for good. The department has changed, and not for the better. I’d leave with just under thirty years, and that would be just fine by me.

On Monday I receive my biopsy results. I know the doctor has been hedging his bets, but I just have a bad feeling about that, too. If it’s cancer, then I’ll spend all my time at the gym, so I’ll be strong enough to beat it. Of course, if that’s the diagnosis, I won’t be my usual charming self for a while.

I’ve given this city twenty-five-plus years of my life, worked extremely hard, never abused sick/vacation time, and never asked for an easy assignment. I’m pretty sure I’ve given them enough.