Ain’t No Party Like A PA Party

A Pennsylvania man was arrested after he decided to go on a burglary spree last Thursday, stealing a cheesecake, a pot roast, and trying to burglarize an adult store.

A Montgomery Township man was arrested on two sets of charges Thursday morning after he allegedly broke into American Star Diner and stole food, then broke into Adult World before being scared away by an employee.

Robert Dugan, 38, has been charged with two counts of felony burglary, one count of felony criminal mischief, and misdemeanor counts of criminal mischief and theft by unlawful taking, in connection with the incidents.

Now, I’m no detective, but I’d wager alcohol was involved.

Dugan was captured on surveillance at the American Star Diner on Welsh Road at 4:30 a.m. on March 31, where he broke the locking mechanism on the front door and forced his way inside, police said. Once inside, Dugan allegedly stole an entire cheesecake and half of a prime rib roast, then exited the diner through the broken front door.

Then, just after 6 a.m., a shirtless Dugan was captured on surveillance outside of Adult World on Dekalb Pike, where he was observed striking a message billboard with a bat, causing it to break, police said. Dugan then allegedly began striking windows of the business, before repeatedly striking the glass front door, causing it to shatter.

Look, I love cheesecake, but there had to be other options Dugan could steal. Like money, alcohol, etc. I swear to Vishnu, I think Pennsylvania it transforming into Florida.