He Is Definitely A Mexican

Like every normal person on Earth, it bothers me to see people going onto the disability rolls for minor, inconsequential maladies.

However, the usual “whiplash” complaint has now been usurped by the guy claiming his giant penis interferes with his career.

Roberto Esquivel Cabrera’s penis measures 18 inches, reaching his knees. The 55-year-old from Saltillo, Mexico, has dangled weights off his penis for his entire life to increase its size.

Dude, where were you with this advice during my high school years?

However, he’s now receiving benefits to help him live while he tries to find a solution to his problem. He said: ‘I cannot wear a uniform like anybody in the companies and also I cannot get on my knees.’

Well, if nothing else, he will always stand for the national Anthem.

He hit headlines when he smashed the unofficial world record held by US actor Jonah Falcon, whose penis was 9.5 inches flaccid and 13.5 inches when erect. Yet despite being super-endowed, the 54-year-old’s penis has caused him a number of health problems, including frequent urinary tract infections because not all his urine escapes his foreskin.

Wait, he still has his foreskin? Oh now this clown is simply padding his stats.