Straight Outta Lumberton

Ronald McDonald With GunApparently Ronald McDonald has been living the thug life. His on-again, off-again relationship with the Hamburglar has skewed his sense of morality; so much so, he was involved in a gunfight outside a competing fast food restaurant.

A man named Ronald McDonald was shot outside of a Sonic restaurant in Lumberton, North Carolina last week.

McDonald, 36, was shot with a non-life threatening injury, according to a statement released by the Lumberton Police Department. He apparently got into an argument with another man outside the fast food joint and they exchanged gunfire.

Oh please tell me the annoying Sonic guys were murdered during the crossfire? Pretty please?

The China Syndrome

Ronald McDonald Statue Arrested In China

In a story guaranteed to give you the shakes, the Chinese government arrested a statue of Ronald McDonald and threw his buns into storage.

The famed golden arches are missing their companion in Guangzhou, China. Three police officers from the urban management bureau showed up at the restaurant in the middle of the afternoon. In front of many curious spectators, they began to assault the statue of Ronald McDonald. When asked what they were doing, the officers yelled that they were enforcing an order from the city government and that everyone needed to stay back.

The sculpture was illegally located outside of the restaurant and had been described as both an eyesore and a tripping hazard by pedestrians. The same official, who asked to remain anonymous, stated that McDonald’s can have its Ronald McDonald statue back, if the restaurant admits that it was in violation of the law and accepts a financial punishment.

Hopefully, McDonald’s ponies up bail money before Ronald’s cellmate makes him Grimace.