A Brush With Nakedness

A British man found himself standing before a judge this week after he “accidentally” walked into a women’s locker room naked and performed a clean and jerk against a woman’s, uh, elliptical.

Sean Bigby, 35, claimed testosterone and protein shakes had left him with a ‘fuzzy head’ and feeling ‘confused and disorientated’.

The Old Bailey heard how he crept up behind a swimmer and brushed against her buttocks while she washed her hands in the women’s changing room at Clissold Leisure Centre in Stoke Newington. The stunned victim saw Bigby wander into the room naked minutes earlier but thought he had made an embarrassing mistake.

Bigby, from Hackney, later told police he had been ‘confused and disorientated’ after taking testosterone and downing protein supplements at the gym after his work out in November last year.

Yeah, I think it’s high time Mr. Bigby – and his potential dates – steer clear of his protein supplements..