Die, Eagles, Die…

There are few organizations I despise more than the Philadelphia Eagles. Most of them are overpaid, ignorant, cop-hating clowns who spend more time being woke than playing football. Their fans – many, but not all – are usually drunken, white trash slobs who worship these scumbags, and hang their very lives on the team.

As usual, the Eagles backed into the playoffs with a pathetic 9-7 record, and immediately the white trash fans started screeching about the Super Bowl. Eagles fans are notoriously overconfident about this team, even though they’ve won one Super Bowl in a half century and their quarterback is mediocre at best.

The good news is the NFC East “Champions” lost to a dismal Seattle Seahawks team by a score of 17-9. The greatest team in football managed only three field goals. Thee loss made not only my day, but my month, and I will gladly bathe in Eagles fans’ tears.

Here’s hoping the Eagles miss the playoffs for the next seven years. They can win again after I’m retired and 2,000 miles away.

Finger Food

Publish this story under “It’s funny when it happens to them.” Disgruntled Seattle Seahawks player Earl Thomas flipped off his own team as he was carted off the field yesterday. Good, good, let the hate – and the bone splinters – flow through you.

Thomas, Seattle’s All-Pro free safety, was carted off the field. Thomas was injured on the end of a play when he dove across the end zone to defend a 22-yard touchdown pass from Arizona’s Josh Rosen to receiver Chad Williams. When Thomas leaped over Williams, his leg appeared to hit the receiver’s leg.

Seahawks coach Pete Carroll said Thomas has a lower leg fracture.

Thomas was then carted off the field. As he was being driven off the field, he made an obscene hand gesture that appeared to be directed toward the Seattle bench. He returned without a new contract and said that his goal would be to “protect’’ himself before he could get paid.

Listen up, rubes; millionaire Earl Thomas wants you to feel bad for his plight, and doesn’t give a rat’s ass about your $100 deductible. These players are insufferable. I hope every single NFL team goes bankrupt, with the possible exception of the Dallas Cowboys.