Domo Arigato, Sexo Roboto

A female author is predicting sex robots will eventually be as popular as cell phones. Sadly, they’ll be more expensive and less productive.

Sex robots will one day be so important that humans will not be able to live without them, a doll collector has predicted.

The popularity of dolls has soared during the coronavirus pandemic, which forced millions to scrap casual dating or be away from their partners. But their demand could continue to boom even after the crisis as technology boosts their realism.

I mean, these people know pr0n is free and bountiful, right?

In her new book, Sex Robots & Vegan Meat, author Jenny Kleeman speaks to a range of sex robot owners and producers.

Yeah, I could have rode along with this until I found the author wrote a book about vegan meat.

Human, Please Insert Your Fleshy USB

The fine people at Big Sexbot are working on a new skin which will make the robot feel a human’s touch. While this may be fine for the robot, the clammy hands brigade may not appreciate Big Sexbot’s efforts.

SEX robots will soon be able to ‘feel’ a human’s touch with a new ‘smart skin’ making cyber love more realistic.

Great, so I can pay thousands of dollars to disappoint a robot instead of a human now.

The TouchYou is the latest development in sex-related technology that will supposedly make sexual interactions between humans and sex dolls more natural.

Yeah, there’s nothing more natural than short-circuiting your partner when it comes in contact with your… um… goop.

Grinding My Gears

A Finnish “robotics psychologist” – as if that’s a real thing – is claiming sex robots will eventually become sentient, enabling them to reject their owners for a skinnier, more attractive model.

RANDY sexbots will be able to cheat on their partners and hide it from them by lying, a robotics psychologist has claimed. Rebekah Rousi says relationships between humans and sentient robots could become commonplace in the future.

The cognitive scientist from the University of Jyvaskla in Finland, told the Third International Congress on Love and Sex with robots yesterday: “What does it mean for human robot relationships?

“We have to consider if robots will have their own sexual desires and what will motivate these desires. If the end goal is to create autonomous robots that are capable of independent thinking and feeling, the chances of humans maintaining power within these relationships is quite marginal.”

Yeah, I’m not paying thousands of dollars for some robot whore to cheat on me! That happened to me more than enough times in college.

Hi, Robot

A British opinion writer is tackling the major issue of our time: sex robots. Ellen Scott is not really addressing their existence, and its effects, but is instead focusing upon how terrible men are if they ever consummate with one.

Of course having sex with a robot that’s been designed to look and behave like a human is cheating. And if you don’t get why, I’m honestly a little concerned. Cheating is not as simple as ‘this person that is in a committed relationship had full-on sex with someone outside of their relationship’.

Kissing someone else can be cheating. Having deep meaningful chats can be cheating. Spending the night in someone’s bed, snuggling for hours, can be cheating.

Well then, I need to apologize to Mrs. Earp about the deep, meaningful chats I’ve had with female coworkers about why The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars film.

Cheating is about betrayal. And when it comes to banging a sex robot, if you’re keeping it secret, that’s a betrayal.

So by following this broad’s logic, when a guy “flogs the dolphin,” or a woman has a date with her B.O.B. (Battery-Operated Boyfriend), they are effectively cheating. I’m sure this woman is fun to be around.