Hot For Screecher

Meet Kristen O’Brien, a schoolteacher in, well, you already know the state. Kristen apparently had a crush on one of her underage students, and decided to pursue the matter, while being twice his age.

Kristen O’Brien, who quit her job last month at United Brethren Christ Academy in Holy Hill, was arrested Friday for having inappropriate sexual contact with a student, news station WFTV reported.

So Kristen is going from Holy Hill to Holy Hell.

The 31-year-old was confronted by the boy’s mother after she noticed concerning messages on his phone. O’Brien told the mom that she had an “inappropriate emotional relationship” with the student in which she had a “crush” on him.

She claimed that she had given the boy three options: They could pretend she never told him she had a crush; they could end communication with each other; or they could do whatever they wanted and not care about any repercussions.

Gee, I wonder which option would be preferable to a mega-horny teenage boy?

O’Brien said on one occasion, the boy touched her in a sexual manner while they were under a blanket on the couch at his home.

Okay guys, place your bets; was it the boobs or the va-jay-jay? I’m thinking the kid headed south for the winter, but that’s just me.

And before you ask, yes, yes, yes, like a screen door in a hurricane.

The Ridges Of Madison County

Meet Catherine Lynn Coffey. Like many young, pretty teachers in America, Catherine wanted to see if one of her male students measured up – by using an actual foot-long ruler.

22-year-old Catherine Lynn Coffey was arrested and charged with two felonies. Coffey is charged with school employee engaging in a sex act with a student under the age of 19 and a school employee engaging in sexual contact with a student under the age of 19.

Coffey works as a Resource Teacher at Madison County Elementary School, according to the school’s website. The alleged sexual conduct occurred between August of 2019 and December of 2019.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d hit that like a screen door in a hurricane, if for no other reason than Miss Coffey looks a lot like Cindy-Lou Who.

The Madison County Sheriff’s Office says it learned of the improper sexual misconduct between Coffey and the student on February 24, 2020. Investigators interviewed the victim and then arrested Coffey.

And that’s where they lost me. I’m not sticking up for this chick – she should definitely be charged – but who is the rat-fink who squealed? If it was the extraordinarily happy “victim,” then he should never be able to have sex with a woman again. If it was some random students, they should have to wear a scarlet letter for the rest of their days.

Bleach Your Children Well

Meet Olivia Huerta from… Texas?

Olivia, like many young, attractive teachers across the country, truly cares about her students; so much so she spends ample time with her male pupils.

A substitute teacher at the Pasadena Independent Schools in Texas was charged Thursday charged with having sex with her 16-year-old student.

She faces a second-degree felony charge of improper relationship with a student and sexual assault of a child between the ages of 14 and 16.

At her arraignment Thursday, Huerta’s bond was set at $40,000. The 23-year-old took over as the fill-in social science teacher at Sam Rayburn High School between January and April of 2018, court documents indicate.

During that time, police allege Huerta brought the teenage student to her parent’s house to have the one-night stand.

I’m starting to think female pedophiles are drawn to teaching, since it’s a target-rich environment. Even with the felony charge, Olivia won’t spend much time in prison, and she’ll still be young enough to prey on kids when she’s released.

French Kiss

Meet Corey French, a high school teacher from Florida.

Corey is a busy guy; between his wife, his job, he barely has enough time to satisfy his two teenage student lovers.

Two Florida high school students were so furious to find out their science teacher was sleeping with both of them that they told the man’s wife he was having the affairs, district officials said.

Both teens are now former students at Fletcher High School in Neptune Beach, where they told police they had sex with Corey French, 30, both at the school and in his home, according to a report by the Duval County School Board.

The 16- and 17-year-old students said it wasn’t until they found out that French had a sexual relationship with both of them that they confronted his wife – even supplying her pictures as evidence of the trysts.

Well, you know what they say; bitches get stitches.

Would You Like Sprinkles On That?

Meet Kayla Alayne Sprinkles. Yes, Sprinkles.

Kayla is a teacher in the North Carolina public school system. She is so dedicated to her students that she voluntarily gives them one-on-one tutoring.

Kayla Alayne Sprinkles, 26, of Hayesville, is accused of sex acts with a student while employed as a high school teacher for the Cherokee County Schools System.

The Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office began investigating in March. On June 4, Cherokee County grand jury indicted her on five counts of sex activity with a student.

The Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office said that Sprinkles surrendered authorities at the Mecklenburg County Detention Center, where she was served with the indictments and released on a $25,000 unsecured bond.

The good news is when she’s paroled, she can make her bones as a “dancer.” She already has the perfect stripper name.