Speaking Of Boobs…

Mentally-imbalanced CNN host Chris “Fredo” Cuomo is not having a good August. First, his sexual predator brother was forced to resign as New York governor, and now his female viewers jumped ship. I guess they assumed Fredo is just as dirty as Andrew.

Before he departed for his annual birthday trip, however, women departed his show: Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last week — after the Tuesday morning announcement of [New York Attorney General Letitia] James’ findings regarding the governor — “Cuomo Prime Time” averaged 453,000 total female viewers, of whom just 76,000 were in the advertiser-coveted age demographic of 25 to 54, according to Nielsen Media Research ratings data.

I don’t want to be the grammar Nazi, but good grief, this paragraph-long run-on sentence is awful, even for an MSN reporter.

In total female viewers, that’s a 21% decrease from his second-quarter average of 570,000 and in the demo, it’s a 41% decrease from his second-quarter average of 128,000.

But wait, there’s more!

James’ report last week also confirmed that the journalist testified in the independent investigation into his brother’s behavior, confirming reporting from earlier this year that he strategized with the governor’s team on how to deal with the accusations. (H/T – The Lovely And Talented MelP)

Funny how Fredo still has a job, because any other “journalist” would have been fired for offering advice on how to trash an accuser. Not to mention the seediness of allowing Fredo to interview his own brother during the Covid crisis.

Andrew Cuomo Is A Criminal

Governor Andrew Cuomo not only ignored his mandatory sexual harassment training, but he also had one of his lackey’s forge his name on the statement claiming he attended the courses.

An aide to New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo admitted to fabricating the governor’s signature on a document attesting that he had completed a mandatory sexual harassment training in 2019, according to an investigation released by the state’s attorney general.

Stephanie Benton, Cuomo’s office director, told investigators that she was the one who produced the governor’s signature on a 2019 document attesting that he had completed the “Sexual Harassment in the Workplace” training course, according to report from Attorney General Letitia James’s office released Tuesday that said the governor unlawfully sexually harassed multiple women.

Stephanie Benton should be arrested and charged with forgery.

The signed attestation form states: “I hereby attest that I have completed the following mandatory training courses,” and contains Cuomo’s printed name and signature. The document, which was first reported by WTEN, contains no indication that Cuomo’s aide had signed the document on Cuomo’s behalf.

Cuomo should also be charged with fraud, since he obviously lied on the training form. He’ll never be charged for his many sexual harassment claims, but the bastard has a list of crimes to choose from.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Less than one week after six police officers were shot, Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross has resigned, effectively immediately. According to reports, the commissioner ignored a sexual harassment complaint from a police corporal, who also had a previous affair with the commissioner.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Mayor Jim Kenney did not address that specific allegation in a news release announcing the departure, five days after he had proclaimed Ross “the best police commissioner in America.”

Instead, he said that Ross had not adequately responded to allegations of racial and sexual discrimination within the department, which were included in an Equal Employment Opportunity Commission complaint and lawsuit filed by Cpl. Audra McCowan — the woman who alleged the affair — and Officer Jennifer Allen.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

As part of our annual recertification training, one day was blocked for sexual harassment “training.” The entire class consisted on some lieutenant (who really loved the subject matter) reminding us again, again, and again that the mayor and the commissioner were making this a hot button issue.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Mayor Kenney is married and living with another married woman. Commissioner Ross “allegedly” had an affair with one of his officers. But please, remind me again about this hot button issue.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

According to the complaint, McCowan texted and called Ross in February to tell him about a male colleague who repeatedly sexually harassed her.

The complaint says that Ross responded by asking, “So why don’t you just order his dumb ass to go sit down and get out of your face?” During the same conversation, McCowan alleges, Ross said he would “school” her on sexual harassment — and that he was standing in the way of her complaints getting addressed “in retribution for breaking off their two-year affair” between 2009 and 2011.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

When you read the laughs, try to do so in a Heath Ledger voice.

For years, officers in the department kept telling us how Ross was a stand-up guy, and how he was very pro-police. Sadly, Ross was the exact opposite. Under his “leadership,” the department pivoted away from stopping crime and focused upon jamming up cops for the most minute infractions.

Ross was also the man who decided we would wait out the man who shot six police officers, instead of letting SWAT hit the house and drag his ass outside. I mean, who doesn’t want a commander who worries more about a gun-toting felon than his own troops?

So, no, I will not miss Ross, nor will I shed one tear about his predicament. Good riddance.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Don Accused Of Squeezing The Lemons

CNN’s least recognizable leftist media hack Don Lemon has been accused of sexual harassment/assault by a bartender in the Hamptons. Lemon, who is gay, allegedly probably assaulted the man at a bar.

Dustin Hice claims that Lemon attacked him at Sag Harbor dive bar Murf’s in July 2018. Hice, who was working as a bartender at another Hamptons watering hole, said he approached Lemon at the bar one night after recognizing him. Hice “tried to get Mr. Lemon’s attention and offered to buy Mr. Lemon a drink,” the suit claims. The CNN host declined, stating he was “just trying to have a good time.”

Later in the night, the suit says, Lemon approached Hice.

“Mr. Lemon, who was wearing a pair of shorts, sandals, and a t-shirt, put his hand down the front of his own shorts, and vigorously rubbed his genitalia, removed his hand and shoved his index and middle fingers in Plaintiff’s moustache and under Plaintiff’s nose,” the suit says.

Oh yeah, if you’ve ever seen Lemon hammered on New Year’s Eve, you know this is arguably his move.

Hice said Lemon repeatedly shoved his fingers in his face and asked, “Do you like pussy or dick?” Hice claims he left the bar “shocked and humiliated.” (H/TAOSHQ)

Ace made a terrific point which I wanted to include here. Lemon is always at the forefront of the “Believe All Accusers” line, so why should we believe Mr. Hice is lying? Personally, I believe Lemon is guilty, because, like Christine Blasey-Ford, Mr. Hice has no reason to lie.

Great Britain Goes Full Petard

Years from now, we’ll all be able to sit back and tell our relatives where we were when Great Britain destroyed itself. The trigger will apparently be the war crime of workplace handshakes.

It may seem harmless enough, but handshakes in the workplace could become a thing of the past under new physical contact rules being considered in the U.K., according to one human resources expert.

Kate Palmer, an associate director of advisory at the HR consultancy firm Peninsula, said employers in the U.K. may enact a complete ban on physical contact in order to avoid expensive sexual harassment suits.

“Does shaking someone’s hand go too far?” she told the U.K. Metro newspaper. “They may just say ‘no contact at all’ because there’s no grey area. It makes it simple, but it takes away affection, which in some ways is a sad thing,” she said.

I remember when people used to rip on Generation X, calling us slackers, etc. We just wanted to be left alone. We never tried to turn the world into a sterile, antisocial place where people upended a thousand years of rules and norms. Good night, Britain. You had a good run.

Believe. All. Women.

You may find this difficult to believe, but the former Vice-President of the United States is actually a creepy, lecherous degenerate who routinely preys on women.

After decades of misconduct, the 2014 Democratic nominee for lieutenant governor of Nevada – Lucy Flores – has come forward with her story.

I found my way to the holding room for the speakers, where everyone was chatting, taking photos, and getting ready to speak to the hundreds of voters in the audience. Just before the speeches, we were ushered to the side of the stage where we were lined up by order of introduction. As I was taking deep breaths and preparing myself to make my case to the crowd, I felt two hands on my shoulders. I froze. “Why is the vice-president of the United States touching me?”

I felt him get closer to me from behind. He leaned further in and inhaled my hair. I was mortified. I thought to myself, “I didn’t wash my hair today and the vice-president of the United States is smelling it. And also, what in the actual fuck? Why is the vice-president of the United States smelling my hair?” He proceeded to plant a big slow kiss on the back of my head. My brain couldn’t process what was happening. I was embarrassed. I was shocked. I was confused. There is a Spanish saying, “tragame tierra,” it means, “earth, swallow me whole.” I couldn’t move and I couldn’t say anything. I wanted nothing more than to get Biden away from me. My name was called and I was never happier to get on stage in front of an audience.

Now if I recall, the Brett Kavanaugh hearings taught us we need to believe all women, so I fully expect Joe Biden will withdraw his candidacy for President, and slink into obscurity forever more.

I’m A Sad Panda

This past two weeks have been a nightmare. I’ve been working the night shift, and have spent five days in court on a jury trial – where the D.A. eventually dropped all charges.

For the past three days I have been stuck in a classroom for our annual recertification. The fabulous classes ran the gamut from Legal Updates, to the FBI’s NIBRS training, to Sexual Harassment in the Workplace.

The last class was useless, because you can count the number of attractive Philly cops on one hand. /zing. I’ll rant about it anyway.

The instructor was a freshly-promoted lieutenant whose lecture was about as exciting as bread mold. He was obviously a company man, because he was not only way too into the topic, but also gleefully reminding us we’ll be suspended or fired if we’re found guilty of harassment. (The lieutenant seemed like the guy who talked shop to anyone who’d listen, and always wore a police t-shirt. A definite True Believer.)

As with most MPO classes, the subject was dry and boring. The scenarios were cookie cutter stories we’ve heard a million times, and afterward, the lieutenant cited examples not found in our information packet. To wit, the lieutenant actually said this with a straight face (I’m paraphrasing):

“You and a female partner are working a wagon or a two-person car, and you turn on the radio to a particular station. While driving, a rap song airs, and the song has sexually suggestive lyrics. You may be guilty of sexual harassment, even more so if you do not immediately turn off the radio.”

Some of the officers in the classroom laughed out loud, and I muttered – rather loudly – “Eh, what?”

One supervisor was especially randy after hearing this. “How do you figure, lieutenant? Did I write the lyrics? Am I singing them? What if my partner does not tell me she is offended?”

The lieutenant shot back, “She doesn’t have to tell you. When you hear the lyrics, it’s your duty to turn off the radio or change the channel.”

More raucous laughter.

The supervisor was not having it. “Okay, so say my partner and I are on a call, and we walk into a home with the same song playing. Do I order the homeowner to turn off the radio?”

Silence. The lieutenant had nothing, and he said he “would look into that.”

Ironically, I was sitting next to my sergeant, who is female, and even she said, “This guy – the lieutenant – is out of his damned mind.” Truer words were never spoken.

Bernie Bros Treated Women Like Hoes

Failed presidential candidate and hairstyle maven Bernie Sanders is responding to accusations his 2016 campaign was fraught with sexual harassment. The sexy senile socialist is addressing the claims a full two years after the fact.

Bernie Sanders said he didn’t know women in his 2016 presidential campaign were being harassed because he was too busy running for the Democratic nomination.

‘I was a little bit busy running around the country trying to make the case,’ he told CNN Wednesday night when asked if he knew about the allegations at the time.

See, it wasn’t his fault; he’s just a confused old man. Now shut up and let him run the country because he’s totes competent. In effect, Sanders is using the Paterno Defense.

Sanders was responding to a report in the New York Times that several women on his 2016 campaign reported episodes of sexual harassment, demeaning treatment, and pay disparity.

Giulianna Di Lauro, a Latino outreach strategist, recounted to the newspaper how a campaign surrogate ran his hands through her hair in a ‘sexual way.’

She said when she reported the incident Bill Velazquez, a manager on the Latino outreach team, he told her: ‘I bet you would have liked it if he were younger’ and laughed.

The truly sad part of this story is no one will hold Sanders accountable, because sexual harassment is only an issue when it is perpetuated by Republicans. But yes, keep screeching about the #MeToo movement you f**king hypocrites.

Soon He May Not Be A Freeman

Morgan Freeman Checking His Hidden Bathroom And Dressing Room Cameras

Leftist Hollywood actor and president of the Trump is a Doo-Doo Head Club Morgan Freeman has been accused of sexual harassment by at least sixteen women over a multi-year span.

A young production assistant thought she had landed the job of her dreams when, in the summer of 2015, she started work on “Going In Style,” a bank heist comedy starring Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Alan Arkin.

But the job quickly devolved into several months of harassment, she told CNN. She alleges that Freeman subjected her to unwanted touching and comments about her figure and clothing on a near-daily basis. Freeman would rest his hand on her lower back or rub her lower back, she said.

In all, 16 people spoke about Freeman as part of this investigation, eight said they were victims of what some called harassment and others called inappropriate behavior by Freeman. Eight said they witnessed Freeman’s alleged conduct.

I eagerly await Freeman’s claim of innocence, and his explanation of how this is all Trump’s fault.

Going For Brokaw

Tom Brokaw, the former voice of NBC News and demigod to leftists the world over, has been accused of sexual harassment from former NBC reporter Linda Vester. Interestingly, gaggles of his female coworkers immediately rushed to his defense.

More than 100 women have signed a letter defending former NBC News anchor Tom Brokaw following a sexual harassment allegation by a former colleague.

Among the names defending Brokaw are some high-profile personalities, including MSNBC hosts Rachel Maddow and Mika Brzezinski, White House correspondent Kelly O’Donnell, chief foreign affairs correspondent Andrea Mitchell, and NBC special anchor Maria Shriver.

“Tom has treated each of us with fairness and respect. He has given each of us opportunities for advancement and championed our successes throughout our careers. As we have advanced across industries — news, publishing, law, business and government — Tom has been a valued source of counsel and support. We know him to be a man of tremendous decency and integrity,” the letter says.

Wait a minute, I thought two-time presidential loser Hillary Clinton told us all women should be believed? I don’t remember anything in Clinton’s statement goading people to attack the accuser.