Pathetic Losers May Now Claim Disability

sexually-handicappedAre you a grossly unattractive person with irreparable body odor? Is your left hand your most vigorous and loyal sexual partner? If so, I offer my congratulations: you are now considered “disabled.”

People who don’t have sex or struggle to find a sexual partner to have children with will now be considered as DISABLED, according to barmy new guidelines set to be announced.

Now in dramatic move the World Health Organisation will change the standard to suggest that a person who is unable to find a suitable sexual partner or is lacking a sexual relationship to have children – will now be equally classified as disabled.

The WHO says the change will give every individual “the right to reproduce.”

Humans do not only have no right to reproduce, but many humans should be permanently barred from ever reproducing. Looking at you, Lindsay Lohan, Michael Moore, and anyone named Kardashian.

Implicit in this decision is the fact these people will be eligible for all rights and benefits – monetary or otherwise – of claiming a disability. This is simply another entitlement for humanity’s leeches.