Fit To Be Thai’d

Steam Tray Full Of ShrimpWhen it comes to dinner, there is nothing I love more than seafood. My all-time favorite is shrimp – or “skrimps,” as we say in work. I can eat skrimps 24/7, 365 days a year. They’re that delicious.

This week, a story broke which claims the delicious skrimps we all enjoy are prepared by slave labor. You’d think that would turn me off. Meh.

Every morning at 2 a.m., they heard a kick on the door and a threat: Get up or get beaten. For the next 16 hours, No. 31 and his wife stood in the factory that owned them with their aching hands in ice water. They ripped the guts, heads, tails and shells off shrimp bound for overseas markets, including grocery stores and all-you-can-eat buffets across the United States.

More than 2,000 trapped fishermen have been freed this year as a result of an ongoing Associated Press investigative series into slavery in the Thai seafood industry. The reports also have led to a dozen arrests, millions of dollars’ worth of seizures and proposals for new federal laws.

So how is this going to affect the skrimp availability? Look, humans can be replaced, but my skrimps cannot. You can find potential slaves anywhere, especially in Thailand’s Red Light district. *wink wink* Or hey, combine the two. After the hoors and ladyboys are done turning tricks, have them peel a few thousand skrimps. It’s not like the smell will deter the customers.

I’m just sayin’.