Snap Into A Slim Jim!

Meet, or, in this case, “meat” Kacey Breazeale.

Kacey was shopping in a convenience store and instead of actually paying for items, she decided to give herself a five-finger discount. As the clerk approached her, Kacey assaulted him with a couple of Slim Jims.

A Florida Woman battered a convenience store clerk with a pair of Slim Jim beef sticks after being accused of shoplifting.

Cops allege that Kacey Breazeale, 40, was confronted Monday afternoon by the female victim at the exit doors to the store, which is adjacent to a Citgo gas station.

Breazeale “pushed the victim to get past” and then struck the 34-year-old clerk “with 2 Slim Jim beef sticks she was stealing,” reported Officer Joshua Kokaisel of the Pinellas Park Police Department.

Police arrived at the scene and arrested Kacey for battery. I’m not sure how striking someone with a Slim Jim can be called battery, but hey, at least she’s off the street for a few hours.