True Detective Stories

So the summer is approaching which means we are even shorter than we usually are. Tuesday night was a nightmare, as one detective was on military leave, the Red Menace started her summer vacation, and Fat Albert called off sick… again. So my squad consisted of four detectives… well, three.

You see, Diego the Idiot Detective “volunteered” to ride around the city with detectives from another jurisdiction. They needed a Philadelphia search warrant, and this was Diego’s chance to skip out of work.

Our supervisor told Diego to be in at 1pm, so he could get the search warrants done before our tour began. Diego, being the jagoff he is, showed up at 2:30pm. He then spent a half hour talking to these bumpkin detectives before going out on the street. Our tour starts at 3pm, and he walked out of the building at 3:15pm.

In the meantime, we were hit with a robbery, a stolen gun, and a few domestic assaults. All three detectives on the floor were working real, legitimate jobs, while Diego was driving around the city, probably stuffing his gullet with donuts…

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