Meet Kenneth Grey of St. Petersburg, Flori-Duh.
Kenneth decided to break into the Red Mesa Cantina, and while he did, he decided to clean himself… as well as his pink parts.
A trespassing suspect with “his pants opened and genitals exposed” explained to Florida police that he was “doing a chant and was cleansing himself spiritually” when he was discovered at 2:15 AM on the premises of a closed Mexican restaurant.
Don’t giggle, I clean myself spiritually once a day; mostly by sitting on the couch, scarfing potato chips, and looking at photos of Vica Kerekes.
Cops say that Kenneth Grey, 29, tripped a silent alarm after jumping a fence early Monday at the Red Mesa Cantina in St. Petersburg.
Grey was seated inside a fenced area near the outdoor bar “with his pants opened and genitals exposed.” Grey was detained and subsequently charged with loitering and prowling, a misdemeanor.
Wow, if I had a dollar for every time my genitals were exposed, I would have retired fifteen years ago.
P.S. – If you do nothing else here today, I beg of you to please read today’s Feel-Good Friday.