By Hook Or By Crook

Among my litany of other mental illnesses, I also suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. If I walk into a room and the shoes are thrown about, I need to place them next to each other. I underline words with a ruler. I do all that, and yet, I have never assaulted a person after seeing a crooked painting.

A security guard at the Metropolitan Museum of Art was struck over the head with a bottle by a man who got upset over a painting he said was crooked.

The suspect went up to the guard inside the Met at 6:15 p.m. on March 3 and told him that a painting was hanging crooked on the wall.

“The response [from the security guard] wasn’t to his liking,” an NYPD spokesman said, so the suspect clobbered him with the bottle.

Okay, while I have considered such violence after seeing a crooked painting, I haven’t had to bust someone in the chops… yet.

See, this would never be necessary in the Earp household because I hang my frames using a Black & Decker laser level. *drops mic… then straightens it on the floor*