The Country Is Doomed

So, a group of bimbo TikTokers have created a new moniker for busty women like themselves. These geniuses are now calling themselves AirPod-shaped.

Many females across TikTok are forgoing the terms “hourglass” and “inverted triangle” to describe their bodies and are going for something more modern.

The new phrase, “AirPod-shaped,” is used to represent women who have tiny waists and a bigger bust — similar to the shape of the Apple wireless headphones, which are a white skinny stick and a bigger circular shape on top.

I guess the AirPod shape refers to big boobs and Apple refers to their shapely ass?

The expression replaces one of the so-called four traditional body types that women have used to illustrate their shape: the inverted triangle, hourglass, rectangular and spoon/pear.

Hmm, I thought the inverted triangle was further south on a woman’s body.

Their Love Was Burning Like Fire

A TikTok user – this should be your first warning sign – claims she and her current boyfriend were Irish lesbians in the year 1500 and burned at the stake.

A couple with ‘déjà vu’ have claimed that they were lesbians killed for witchcraft in Ireland in the year 1500.

TikTok user Liriette said that her and her boyfriend felt they knew each other and experienced a lot of deja vu when they were got together. The video claims that the couple underwent past life regression meditation to discover if they knew one another in another lifetime.

“Regression meditation” is absolutely a thing, and it is totally not a sham.

Turns out, they were told they lived together in Ireland in the 1500s and were a lesbian couple who had to keep their relationship under wraps.

She even included images of what they think their soul’s bodies looked like but it’s not clear from the video why they think that.

You should see the artist’s conception of what she looked like in 1500. She looks like a supermodel, because no one portrays themselves as looking fat and homely.

I’m all for people believing they had past lives. If that’s your thing, go for it, but don’t expect anyone to actually believe such an outlandish story. Also, while you’re spinning these tall tales, ask yourself why people who have past lives are always someone of importance, instead of, say, a dirt farmer.

When Ladies Were In Egypt’s Land…

Remember the “Arab Spring?” The mass protests in the Middle East against their draconian governments? You know, the protests Barack Obama ignored? Well, Egypt was one of the governments hit with protests and marches. Everyone thought it could be a turning point for the Islamist country.

Everyone was wrong.

Armed with vaguely worded laws, Egypt’s guardians of conservative morals have long focused on belly dancers and pop stars in their efforts to police women’s behavior. Now they have hit upon a new target — young women who have become famous on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram.

An Egyptian court Monday convicted two women, social media stars, on charges of “violating family values,” and sentenced each of them to two years imprisonment. The court also found three men guilty on charges of helping post the women’s videos, lawyers said, and received the same sentence.

Social media is a highly contested and often perilous space in Egypt, where the government exerts tight controls over traditional media like newspapers and television, and has used courts to patrol digital platforms beyond its reach.

So two women, and possibly a third by week’s end, have received two-year prison sentences for posting videos on social media. TWO YEARS! The Middle East has always been a backwards region, and it looks like they will never emerge from the 7th century.

America Is Losing Its Collective Mind

Since the country has been shut down, more and more people are wasting spending their time on social media. One of these useless apps, TikTok, offered a bizarre video challenge to moms and their infant children.

Moms on TikTok are getting in on the latest social-media challenge by exposing their breasts to their babies and recording their enticed reactions.

Called the #DropEmOutChallenge, these jokester mamas post their videos with Wheeler Walker Jr.’s song “Drop ‘Em Out” playing in the background. The country tune’s lyrics are particularly fitting for this game.

Seemingly from behind the camera, the moms bare it all to their hungry, breast-fed babies, filming the excited expressions. Among the adorable reactions, one baby was all smiles when he saw his mother’s chest. The chubby boy walked right over to his favorite dinner spot, hungrily clasping his hands.

Seriously, these moms need to have their heads examined… or have their children taken away from them. The challenge would have been better if they did this in front of other men, and the reactions would likely have been the same without the life-scarring trauma.