The French Mistake

France’s interior minister publicly defended topless bathing on France’s beaches, after local police asked bathers to put on clothes.

French gendarmes patrolling a beach in Mediterranean seaside town Sainte-Marie-la-Mer last week asked a group of topless sunbathers to cover up in response to a complaint from a family, the local gendarmerie said in a statement on Facebook.

Hmm, I wonder if there is a French version for the name “Karen?”

It acknowledged their actions had been “clumsy” but said the officers only wanted to calm the situation, insisting there had been no official order to ban topless sunbathing in the town. But their actions prompted an avalanche of criticism on social media, where users wondered if the practice was now out of bounds.

“Is Sainte-Marie-la-Mer now Saudi Arabia?” wondered one user, while others slammed a creeping “prudishness” in France.

Ladies and gentlemen, the very reason we stormed the beaches of Normandy is to protect the right of French chicks to remain topless! Yes, Nazism and fascism were also good reasons, but honestly, they were way down the list. Seriously France, be better.

Minnesota Spice

Just when you thought Minnesota couldn’t possibly get any worse, some local cops are now citing and fining lake beachgoers for sunning themselves while topless or in the nude.

The Golden Valley Police Department used a drone to catch beachgoers breaking the law by going topless or nude at Twin Lake, just west of Theodore Wirth Park.

Wait, wait, wait, the department spying on nude sunbathers is called Golden Valley? HA HA! I’m sure they explored those valleys deeply.

The serenity on the somewhat hidden beach is what draws visitors, along with an understanding of sorts that many freely bare their body. Elsie Olin frequents the beach.

“It’s really well known for being a safe place to just be comfortable,” Olin said.

When Olin was there Friday, July 10, that freedom of expression wasn’t free from consequence as officers began taking information from people to potentially cite them for being topless or nude.

Minnesota won’t arrest or charge rioters, looters, or arsonists, but they’ll damn well dish out citations to topless beachgoers on a sparsely populated lake? Good grief, Minnesota, just secede to Canada already.