Hot Tuna

There’s an old Irish saying which transaltes loosely to “You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna genitals.” It sounds better when repeated in Gaelic.

AN IRISHMAN and two others have been jailed for the manslaughter of a homeless man found naked at Malaga Airport with his genitals in a tuna can.

James O’Byrne, 59, was sentenced to two years in prison alongside Finnish nationals Jussi Munck, 41, and Mike Soininem, 48. The victim, 51-year-old Steven Allford, was discovered lying face-down on a bench outside the Spanish airport’s arrivals lounge on October 21, 2016.

The Londoner was found with his trousers down, ham on his exposed buttocks and his genitals placed inside an empty tuna can. He was also bound with cable ties.

Thankfully, the genitals were packed in water, instead of the less-healthy oil.