Twerking Girl

DC Twerker AssaultTwo women walked into a Washington, D.C. grocery store last month and “twerked” against a man before trying to caress his junk mail.

The D.C Police are looking to charge the surprisingly attractive women with third-degree awesomeness.

Police in Washington, D.C., are asking the public’s help to identify two women accused of sexually assaulting a man by twerking against him and fondling his genitalia. The incident happened Oct. 7 at a store on the 1700 block of New York Avenue.

Surveillance video shows a man talking on the phone while getting money from an ATM.

In the footage, two African-American women in short dresses come into the store. One of the women, wearing a silver dress, rubs her butt against the front of the man while purchasing something. When the victim backs away, her friend, in a short red dress makes several attempts to cozy up to the man, including trying to touch his pants inseam.

Wait a minute, this dude called the police for that? I would have been raising my hands and asking the cashier to give me change for a twenty… all in dollar bills.

Seriously, brah, turn in your Man Card.