Arrest Me, Arrest Me!

A gaggle of female U.K. prison guards were either fired or resigned after they were allegedly having sex with male prisoners while on duty.

At least 18 female guards in the U.K.’s “cushiest prison” have reportedly been fired or resigned amid a flurry of sordid sexual accusations — including claims of sex inside cells and one guard smuggling her underwear to an inmate.

HMP Berwyn, which is also Britain’s largest facility, has been hit with various claims of illicit affairs and inappropriate relationships between guards and inmates since it opened in 2017, with three former workers sentenced in a 2019 scandal, the Mirror reported.

Okay, most of these female guards are mostly hot, and in the U.K. I could probably get into this cushy prison simply by saying, “Meghan Markle isn’t actually black!” Seems like a win-win to me.

British outlets are reporting that the 18 women who were fired or resigned from a single jail is a “record,” noting that since 2019, a total of 31 women across England and Wales have been fired from jails for intimate relationships with inmates.

I mean, good for the prisoners, but maybe HMP Berwyn should be a little more strict with their hiring practices. Bringing in young, crazy attractive female guards to oversee young thugs is a recipe for disaster.